Sad news, and tragic that she felt this was the only way out, clearly a very troubled lady.
Horrible to hear. I wasn’t a fan (or a detractor) but trial by tabloid is just awful.
Sad news, and tragic that she felt this was the only way out, clearly a very troubled lady.
I must say I was truly shocked and upset by this news, playing on my mind to be honest.
Oh Caroline No.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w7ZeSIC6K0
Mitch
Her relatively successful media career will have defined her existence from her own perspective. With the pending court case almost certainly going to result in an assault conviction or worse, her mainstream career was pretty much over. I guess she couldn't deal with that.
I guess over the next few days the media will be full of what a tragedy this is (and it is) and what a great person she was (not that she necessarily was). As has been noted, far too many "ordinary" people will have reached the edge of their own personal despair and fallen off the edge, maybe due to lack of support. The only, slim, benefit of the media coverage is that someone may just recognise that someone they know is be struggling and may reach out to them. I feel that would be the only way something good will come out of a very sad event.
I wonder how many of those posting platitudes about Caroline will acknowledge to themselves that maybe they could have done more to actually help her.
Lots of things wrong here, press intrusion, cps chasing a case no one supported, social media, tv companies (did they give her any support like Ant n Dec or Schofield no doubt got) and social/mental care in society in general...
One of probably hundreds or thousands which could of being or can be prevented...
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As you get older any loss of life seems tragic whether it be human or wild life, RIP :(
The Sun has removed an article about a “brutal” Valentine’s Day card mocking the deceased former Love Island presenter Caroline Flack from its website.
The story highlighted a card featuring a drawing of the presenter with a message saying “I’ll fucking lamp you” but it was removed from the website and replaced with a legal warning, amid concerns about how the media handled coverage of her arrest.
It is unclear when the story about the Valentine’s Day card, which was published on Friday but replaced with a legal removal story by Saturday evening – when her death was announced – was taken down.
The Sun today:
RCHARM OF THE WILD CHILD How Caroline Flack’s quick wit and ability to laugh at herself helped her become one of our best-loved presenters
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
Laura whitmore is in bits on 5 live at the moment talking about Caroline, her good mate. Horrible.
Agree apart from the CPS. Domestic violence is handled differently for very good reason. The CPS had every right to continue with the prosecution and dropping it would have sent the message sent a very bad message. Domestic violence is serious and it doesn't matter if it's a woman dealing the blows or being dealt the blows.
I'm sorry she felt so alone and so helpless that she chose to take her own life. She obviously needed help yet didn't (or chose not to) receive it.
So sad to see how this has ended.
The poor girl must have been desperate and helpless
Awful
I read a FB comment today saying that instead of judging her or missing her, do something positive and call somebody you know you haven’t heard from for ages, or you know is having the odd issue
Couldn’t agree more
RIP
Perhaps her Mental Health WAS the contributor to the domestic assault that happened.
Who knows.
I just find the whole thing sad and tragic.
The fact that she was more successful than many of the other people who do it daily actually just shows how BAD her mental state was.
To be in a position of privilege and success and STILL take your own life... well... that says it all for me.
Riches and success mean nothing to both the Demons and to the Reaper. They still come knocking at your door.
My job sometimes sees me talking people out of killing themselves.
Mental Health is a huge evil killer.
Tragic.
RIP.
Last edited by gregory; 16th February 2020 at 18:03.
Gregory, do you ever wonder if on some level our value system/ definition of success and perhaps even what qualifies as entertainment, might be a little out of whack at all...
Deleted
Last edited by joe narvey; 17th February 2020 at 11:56. Reason: Deleted as thread took a turn I don’t want to be associated with.
I think language is key here. There aren't any deaths 'attributed' to Love Island. There have been deaths in the cadre of LI contestants but that's very different. I think LI will take a battering now but it shouldn't as it can't be responsible for the actions of the public who think it's OK to say the most hideous things about people.
There's been several deaths linked to the phenomenon that is celebrity culture and social media. David Baddiel wrote a good piece in the Times (I think) a few weeks ago on this topic. He explained the difference in timing between Big Brother and Love Island and that, in the early days of BB, there wasn't the social media spread there is today. So if Nasty Nick didn't buy a paper he was unlikely to see the criticism of him whereas now it can hardly be escaped.
The answer isn't, as some believe, stopping the use of social media. The answer, or part of it at least, is that social-media-land is like cowboy country, totally lawless. There needs to be consequences for trolls which will also act as deterrents.
RIP Flackers. You're a Strictly legend.
So you both knew her well then? Do you have evidence that she took drugs? She may well have been those things but you don't know that, you're just perpetuating the myth peddled by the media which contributed to her taking her own life. Absolutely appalling statements.
While I would agree that it is sad that anyone, let alone a person that seemed to have a lot of privilege (money, successful career etc) should feel that they would rather end their life than continue the daily struggle, just remember that we all see the world through our own eyes. Not everyone has a strong will to survive or even holds life in as much importance as many.
RIP CF
"tis a fleeting thing this life. How beautiful it would be to be able to live it how we liked, and to end it at our behest"
Last edited by redmonaco; 17th February 2020 at 12:54.
Poor girl. She must have felt that her shame was very public.
I don't understand why so many people aspire to, or fawn over celebrity.
But I guess I was born in a different (and in my opinion better) age, and I'm only ten years older than Ms. Flack.
I don't really know who she was, just another pretty face from the dancing program that the wife watches. But as with many suicides, what a tragic waste.
There is hardly any generalisation.
We, as a society (and it's not "we" as the UK, since it seems K-pop is even worse), have lost our values of empathy and compassion to social media and shows like BB and of course Love Island, among others. How fun it is to see those people stab themselves in the back, cheat on each other, or dump each other in front of a camera, isn't it? She was part of that, and apparently good at it.
Unfortunately it doesn't stop there. It doesn't stop with the tabloids publishing their usual crap. "Progress" means we have Social Media, where everything can be written without having to take responsibility for the comments.
She was part of that game. She, like K-pop idols, like the contestants, were drawn to the fame/career and the Champagne lifestyle it came with - or so they thought. But the price is much higher than they ever thought it would be.
Jo Cox was murdered by someone who couldn't stop to typing hatred but had to act. But thousands are content enough typing this hatred day in, day out. And the way Social Media works reinforces their opinions, as they will see preferentially 'like-minded' posts.
How many teenagers have committed suicide just because a classmate -or even a perfect unknown - had started to target them? The answer is too many. Their death is sadder because they were younger, with no life experience to help them, but more importantly because they were not looking for exposure. Unlike the contestants, and unlike CF.
So yes, mental health issues come in many different guise. But that sort of show will bring out the most hard core reaction in SM. The usual saying is 'If you can take the heat, get out of the kitchen". The problem is, with mental health, you don't know you can't take the heat until is too late.
For the rest, I hope that all those who lament her death will concentrate on donating to Samaritans, calling those of their loved ones who they haven't spoken to for a long time, or who they know are at risk, instead or joining the flow of mourners who only mourn her because she was in the public eye, unlike the other ca 800 other persons who committed suicide this year.
'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.
It's rather surprising that we have some here wringing their hands about awful, hateful, vindictive posts that target people on the internet, when they have been guilty of exactly the same offence. Doh!
That said, blaming the media/internet trolls is just lazy IMHO, simply because suicides existed long before both, and perhaps why in some cultures is it considered a noble exit strategy where as others view it as illegal or a deathly sin. Even today we consider some suicides to be honourable sacrifices where as others are tragedies with all points in between.
Personally speaking (I am aware of two suicides in my family), the root cause seems to be that the victims simply lose all hope that life (as they knew/know it) will ever improve and therefore see zero reason to continue the struggle.
Maybe the media/internet trolls are enablers, but they are not a cause. The cause is much deeper, more personal and therefore much more complex. But perhaps if people stopped fixating on the negative and started to promote the positive and offered more hope, then suicides numbers might decrease.
Whoever does not know how to hit the nail on the head should be asked not to hit it at all.
Friedrich Nietzsche
‘If anyone had the past year my wife and I have just dealt with then I’m sure some of the comments would be toned down somewhat. My eldest is struggling with life in general and has been for the past 3 years, everyday is a rollercoaster with him and it’s very hard to know what to do for the best.
The danger of asking him if he’s ok too much to the dangers of not asking him enough - that amount can change week to week. Not knowing where to turn when’s he’s admitted standing on a train bridge and simply not thinking of anything else other than jumping. To feel so bad that you know the turmoil you’re putting your love ones under but being powerless to change your feelings and do anything about it.
‘The complete helplessness of having your son breakdown in front of you and everything you say is wrong.
The helplessness you feel when his doctor won’t speak to you due to GDPR
The worry you feel in the pit of your stomach when he’s late home from work by an hour and you can contact him........live with it then let’s see if the comments remain the same.
Sorry to hear that Frankie
To be honest, some of the personal comments directed at me by half a dozen or so members on the Brexit thread did begin to have an effect on me at one point I believe. At the time I would probably have denied it but now I can look back more objectively. That's not to say I didn't hit back because I did, I'm not good at 'turning the other cheek', never have been. It wasn't pretty on either side and passions ran high, although I wouldn't expect any such admission from those involved. Sometimes it felt as though some people were simply goading others to the point where they lashed out and got banned for it.
Point is, you can disagree with someone without hating them. There are people on here who have polar opposite views to mine, who I like in spite of that.
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
Clearly there is a fine line. Whilst I don’t think it’s appropriate to just attack individuals, on the other hand people are accountable for their actions and should therefore expect to be pulled up when their actions are deemed unacceptable. Without enacted laws and rules that’s generally how we determine acceptable standards within a given setting, group, or “community”.
The other side of things is that some of us suffer more than others from negativity or personal comments/insults. Some of that can or should have been foreseeable though, and for the most part can be avoided. Set yourself up, then expect some criticism or non-constructive feedback.
I remove myself from as many situations that I find overly pressurised/stressful as possible, but accept that sometimes that’s just not possible - how we all deal with the situations we can’t avoid will differ due to our experience and support.
Those who carry out an act need to be held accountable - likewise, those who pass comment or take action are also accountable for their conduct.
It's just a matter of time...
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
My best wishes to you and your family FFF. We all have struggles and we all deal with them in different ways. I suffered for a decade with anxiety but didn't know it. I thought I lacked patience. I thought life was just meant to be that hard. Once finally diagnosed the relief was huge and I realised that my behaviour over the previous decade made sense.
I had to have a bit of a breakdown to get there though which wasn't pleasant.
In my family, friends and even forum life I behaved in a less than admirable fashion; short fuse, jealousy and just a very generic not being able to see the wood for the trees feeling....all the time. I thought life was unfair and unjust back then.
Since I got help I'm a hell of a lot better. My wife had cancer 18 months ago and I was able to manage that extremely well. Do I get drawn into arguments? Yes. Not as much but at the end of the day we're only human and I'll defend myself when I have to.
With a combination of meds, great friends to talk to, mindfulness (practised every day) and not going into The Draft Thread, I've been able to get better. I discovered a Buddhist preacher called Gaur Gopal Das and his 'Why Worry?' mantra and it has been life changing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YRjX3A_8cM
For anyone struggling, reach out to someone.