Originally Posted by
bins
Really good advise provided already
Father suffers from Alzheimers. He was diagnosed over 5 years ago but we realised that he was suffering for much longer than that.
Emotions will be running riot at the moment, meaning a lot of worrying and sleepless nights. So you really have to be careful to look after yourselves at this stage, and continue to do so as time goes on. As many people will say, you will be no good to anyone if you aren't taking care of yourselves.
Regardless of the diagnosis, no doubt that legal matters need to be addressed reasonably quickly. Simply because the legal documents need to be signed by a person of sound mind, noted by a witness.
You will need to start considering management of your FIL's assets while you still have the time, again while he is of sound mind. Especially before you have to involve social services and their means testing requirements.
May I suggest that you speak to your FIL about what he would like to happen during different stages of dementia, in terms of future care, care homes and such like. But the conversation needs to be more practical rather than emotional. It is painful but it can help with future decisions.
Its not nice for me to say, but please consider if there is a level of certainty that its dementia. I only say this because there are other conditions that can have the affect of memory loss, etc, such as depression.
When you start googling, you will find that there are different types of dementia which progress in different ways.
For my father, the Alzheimers was diagnosed by a doctor at a memory clinic. If this hasn't occurred yet, then the GP should send for a referral to the local NHS memory clinic. They may request a MRI, or CT scan of the brain if necessary. There they will diagnose based on the history of the symptoms, and provide further guidance. An appointment can take quite some time. Many months for my father.
For Alzheimers theres a couple of medications which are meant to help reduce the symptoms, Aricept and Memantine but they do have side affects and Im not sure you can really know if they are helping or not. Don't know about medication for other types of dementia.
As for the rate of progression, this also depends on the type of dementia, but also dementia progresses differently for every person, both in terms of symptoms and time.
So just take a step at a time. The kind of care needed now will be different to the kind of care needed in the future, as the dementia progresses. Also you will learn how to communicate with a person having dementia, as their behaviour changes.
There are some basic behaviours that you will need to be watch for, such as walking out the door but not knowing where they are going, not drinking enough water can cause UTI infections, sundowning, sleep issues
There are organisations out there who may be able to help, advise, and provide guidance booklets, such as Alzheimers Society, Age UK, Dementia Friends, Although you may have to reach out to them.
Over time, you hopefully learn to be objective and practical. Unfortunately there may not be an ideal solution to many issues. And sometimes there is no right answer. There will be feelings of guilt at having to make painful decisions.
I will always feel guilty at some of the decisions that I have made so far. But I had to be practical for the family.
Sorry but this is a subject that doesn't really have much positivity,