Will have a sunny disposition and will generally respect and seek to understand alternative opinions to their own...
Will own an expensive digital camera, to take photos of his expensive Rolex whilst sat at the wheel of his BMW/Audi/MX-5
Will have a sunny disposition and will generally respect and seek to understand alternative opinions to their own...
Last edited by number2; 3rd December 2017 at 09:14.
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
Tactical socks, that is the giveaway!
Will be retired at 48 and mystified as to why all the other idiots go to work. Don’t these people realise there is a big wide world out there full of possibilities like Rolex flipping, Porsche track days, brogue polishing, Japanese knife sharpening and elaborate wet shaving rituals?
So many people i know dont live by an excel file making a daily profit and considering it a success
On the other hand most work for blood sucking companies paying them hood money to be forst class assholes and they want to see something different in this place
Nevertheless this is a miniature sample of the real word and although we hate it its there and its real
Find myself consciously looking for a Honda Accord with a tasteful velour interior. Even though I'm in totally the wrong part of the country.
Only just found this thread
Only just bought a MX5
I'll get my coat (but not a Barbour)
Unfeasible quantities of marmalade in the pantry?
Me: owns an MX5, just bought my first Rolex, love skiing, love keeping fit, drinks too much, quite depressive, wants more watches. Likes nice things. Looks forward to retirement. Hmmm probably not great but that’s me as a TZ’er.
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Actually, I also met one of the members here when I sold a bike (I think it was a bike anyway), and then a while later (weeks or months later) saw someone manically waving at me on the motorway - and it was the same guy!
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we’d make meat helmets.
When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds – pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe.
At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. At the age of 18, I went off to evil medical school. At the age of 25, I took up tap dancing. I wanted to be a quadruple threat
Great bump of an old thread. Should probably add that his wife has a cupboard full of old Michael Kors bags purchased at designer outlets that are relentlessly listed and bumped on SC.
Surely it has to be "Wears a Rolex with Stickers and Tags still on..."
Will start numerous threads detailing what cars he's ordered, bought and owned.
He will also show off about how much money he has to retire on.
48.5 inch waist / size 7 feet.
F.T.F.A.
I'm getting there, Trickers, frantic shoe polishing,Barbour jacket, Honda, NATO's, retirement pot, oh does a ' another Bond' stripe dressing gown count?
Will measure the temperature of the water before he pours it in a circular motion into the ground coffee.
Moisturises. Has more bottles of perfume than his ex-wife.
His kitchen knives are so sharp he can shave with them, or use them to lance the piles he gets from sitting at his keyboard all day.
F.T.F.A.
This is one of the best things I've ever read!
Youff looking at old guy: “Silly old fart”!
Old guy looking at youff: “Gormless looking prat”!
T’was ever thus.
Last edited by KavKav; 17th March 2018 at 10:02.
Update,
A thorough knowledge of washing machines and vacuum cleaners, the ability to speak authoritatively on hybrid cars whilst driving a chipped diesel Porsche Toureg Rover developing 350 bhp tested on a dyno.
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
Has vanity plates on every car he owns, and also on the motorbike he spends more time polishing than riding, mainly because he is too fat to get into his Power Rangers leather one-piece. Has £100 cash and wonders the best way to increase his status with this, considers a nice tie and pocket square but ends up with a peacock on a lead to walk around town with.
Only has Miele kitchen appliances.
Peacock on a lead!
Like that idea
Sounds like a line from “an Englishman in New York”
Happy to use their mobile phones whilst driving - to photograph their watch.
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
IT'S A RUUUUF, BIMBO!
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
Oh dear.
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
Most were at some point intimately acquainted with Daisy Renton. Some feel guilty about this...
Some appear to have been schooled in the principle of philosophical perspective by Father Dougal McGuire.
______
Jim.
Is supremely confident in his choices of clothing and footwear, white goods, holidays, garden tools and financial products having sought the advice and reassurance of complete strangers prior to purchase.
Had a good laugh at this and too be honest didn't realize it was an old thread until I saw the reference to the 'jeans' as being 501's.......gasp surely that is blasphemy, they must be at least £500 and handmade by former tin miners in some distant part of wales? And heaven forbid........never, ever wash them.
Some things never change though........giant sized clothes in SC!
Surprising lack of motorbike references back in 2013 though.
And always for sale because the TZ'er lost xxx stone. Never because the seller has gained so much weight that it will not fit anymore.giant sized clothes in SC!
M