Top Ten of one liners......

[Jimster]

..... as voted for by the viewers of Dave, but still quite funny!

My favourite was number 3:

Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."

[spud]

All very good, but what was hidden in someone's comment at the bottom made me chuckle...

The past, present and future walked into a bar... it was tense!

[RoyalVilla]

The wife just emailed me these as she knows I like Stewart Francis.
I particularly liked:
"I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!"
and
"Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating."

[medmondson]

Not really a fan of the one liner but have to admit there were a couple in there that made me chuckle.

[gentlemenpreferhats]

Also from the comments:

My wife said to me "Your lack of originality is pathetic."I said "Yeah, well your lack of originality is pathetic."

[spud]

^ I like this, this will get used... probably at home!

[Yeti]

The world is a circus-don't be a clown....

[learningtofly]

I inadvertently came up with one this morning... "I'd be lost without my Sat Nav"

[spud]

I inadvertently came up with one this morning... "I'd be lost without my Sat Nav"

Oh, don't put yourself down. I'm sure your natural sense of direction is just fine!

Have I missed the point..?

[Jimster]

Also from the comments:

My wife said to me "Your lack of originality is pathetic."I said "Yeah, well your lack of originality is pathetic."

Very good - like it

[Spendor]

Heard the one about the lobster who went to a disco and pulled a muscle?

Please don't clap, throw money!

[tixntox]

When your boat breaks down, don't accept a towline. The towing boat skipper has salvage rights! Now that's a one liner!

If you see a busty woman with a cleaver, steer well clear. She has cleavage rights!

mike

[learningtofly]

Oh, don't put yourself down. I'm sure your natural sense of direction is just fine!

Have I missed the point..?

Well, in a word...