As I continue on my meandering path through computering, I though I would share my latest findings.

My 3-year-old HP Elitebook laptop had been radiating warmth to my groin area recently whilst being used and charged simultaneously..
Then I noticed that the caseback had split from the front moulding (the bit with the keyboard in it). Attempts to push it back in place using the peripheral snag catches were not successful; it was as though something had bulged within.
The reason became clear once I undid the T5 screws and separated the two components; something had bulged within. The lithium battey in fact.
Not having prior knowledge of such matters, I Googled "swollen laptop battery" only to discover that I was in imminent danger of having an incendiary incident in my lap. Coincidentally as I read the results of my Google search, the TV was showing footage of an e-bike exploding at Sutton railway station.
Afrer a period of contemplation I decided not to use the laptop until I had secured a fix. Suitable new batteries are a-plenty on eBay so one is winging its way towards me as we speak.

That's it. Thank you for reading. Onwards and upwards.