Reply With QuoteIt’s people pratting about with their luggage makes boarding so slow.
Missed the slot due to boarding taking too long. So sitting on the tarmac at Lisbon airport, waiting to be cleared for take off, wondering why when everyone had their seat allocated in advance, don't they board passengers in some sort of order, shouldn't it be that simple?
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It’s people pratting about with their luggage makes boarding so slow.
This. Or it's families being split up, with youngsters, who then by law need to sit together... Odd situation, which requires a good Samaritan to swap seats
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Ah the great general public. Can screw up the simplest of tasks.
And being British everyone needs to join a queue so doing it by order won’t work.
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Not serving Alcohol at airports would speed up the process too. Airports should be functional terminals, not somewhere to get smashed and wander around the shops until the most sober one of party hears the final boarding call over the tannoy.
If there is never a seat at the gate, stand at the boarding area to start other people getting anxious & some will join you as FOMO. Once done, go and sit in their seats & enjoy their hatred.Originally Posted by aa388
Travelling back last year & being called to board, had some strange passenger ask / shout at me why I wanted to get onboard so soon (whilst her standing as close as possible to wanting to board the plane early) as I’m all I’m going to do is sit there in a small seat etc. My reply of drinking champagne whilst waiting for her to board threw her somewhat.
Despise air travel with a passion, trying to book Mauritius for June, so few carriers; I hate BA, Emirates is a Dubai stop over, so nope. Leaves Air Mauritius which has economy, or £4-5k upgrade to business, nothing in-between, ouch!
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Bugger off
When you’re shaking like a shitting dog after a weekend of over indulgence with the lads it’s the only thing that straightens you up.
Posted sitting at T5 having a lager though with the Mrs so it wasn’t too over indulgent.
Am I right in thinking someone once worked out it would be faster to board passengers with alternate row numbers so there's less messing around trying to stuff bags in overhead lockers etc? If so, what happened to that, or am I to be referred to 'the general public'?
"A man of little significance"
Happened to us last week, hour delay because a couple of numpties were farting around in duty free.
I like this. I like this very much.
'Queue', so British, one useful letter followed by a line of four silent ones...
Sounds good idea. Odd first then even or vice versa.
Probably not much storage left for second lot, maybe make that a cheaper option or randomly pick which boards first?
This would work.
If people thought ahead, they could remove a smaller flight bag from their carry on, pop the things they need in it & then they don’t have to fanny around getting stuff out at the seat before putting the luggage overhead & it would all be faster.
The trouble with that is the thinking aspect.
Seen many attempts to board planes in a logical order. Always ends up with a pile of people at the front squinting anxiously as if row 55 might be next after the call for rows 10-15.. relatively certain the whole process just ends up taking longer as folk try to fight through the mass (and inevitably the worst human beings jump the queue and nobody actually checks the seat numbers, blocking the isle as they juggle their 14 carry-ons, further infuriating the crowd who proceed to shuffle ever closer to the gate..).
A good system would be automated barriers that open to your boarding card, but only after your row is clearly displayed on a screen (i.e. not called over a tanoy in a muffled mess). And men with little spears to poke back anyone who tries to linger near the barrier.
All of the US domestic flights I’ve taken have been much smoother experiences. The gate agents strictly enforce the boarding groups and it’s always much swifter as a result. And because folks know they’re unlikely to be able to sneak on early, most don’t bother trying which means you don’t get a scrum form by the gate.
IME EastJet are usually pretty orderly in Europe, while BA is generally a sh*tshow
I thought it was supposed to be window first then middle then aisle was fastest, rather than zone or row
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That makes no sense. There’s as much storage left as there always was. 🤪
Once flew to Mauritius from CDG. Never have I experienced a scrum so bad at the gate. The single worst boarding experience ever. I stood and watched 200 odd rude frenchies try and force their way to the front of the pack. To this day I have no clue why they did it. We all got on with room to spare for our cabin bags.
Yes, obviously same storage but odds or evens will be disadvantaged rather than those who are otherwise at end of queue.
Back row first, front row last, strictly enforced along with carry-on allowance, on every flight at every airport.
Makes sense, apart from a family with young children either sending their 3 year old onto the plane on their own first, or leaving the other at the gate and hoping they make it (or not)!
The same people who cause the delays are then the first ones to stand up and want to get off before anyone else, pushing and shoving.
One bloke shoulder barged past. I later saw him still waiting for his luggage whilst I had collected all 5 suitcases of essentials my wife had packed. He looked quite sheepish as I said bye.
CDG is still my worst airport experience ever. Horrible dirty place that seemed stuck in a time warp. Perhaps it has improved in the last decade but you can’t polish a turd.
The bestest of the best are those people who board at the front & seem taken aback that the rows are in ascending numerical order & not randomised.
In Seat 18E? You don't need to check (and mouth) every row until you get there: but you do, don't you?
______
Jim.
I hate the place!
When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks long into you.........
Can't account for the morons though.
Took an Easyjet flight back 2 weeks ago from Schipol.
The vacuous young woman behind us (finger nails too long to proerly tap her phone etc) refused to move seats when someone else had the same seat number per their boarding card. She refused to show her boarding card until the stewards were called, just repeating this is my allocated seat. Stewards eventually got her to show her boarding card and she had a seat at the back of the plane, 35 or something like that. We were in something like Row 10.
Only at this point did she reveal that her previous flight had been cancelled and she had been moved to this one and she hadn't bothered to check her new seat number presuming her seat number was the same as the last flight. Didn't even apologise just stormed off in a huff.
And on the row infront of us, man sat byu the emergency exit window, was in teh wrong seat when the stewards checked. But only because his seat was at the back of the plane and when he tried to sit in it, the person in his correct seat also refused to move apparently having told him "they didn't want an exit row" - you specifically have to choose an exit row seat when booking easyjet, you pay extra for the extra legroom it gives you. The guy didn't mind he had extra legroom and no one sat next to him, but it jsut messed up the boarding, he got on the back door way and had to shuffle agaisnt the crowds etc.
Multiply that across the whole plane and you see why humans are the biggest delay to a quick turnaround.
Reminds me of the quote from this very forum a while back:
'Think about how intelligent the average person is and then remember that 50% of the population are more stupid than that'.
It's a worry.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1698953650268250511
Last edited by Maysie; 5th September 2023 at 15:32.
It scares me on a daily basis, and glad I don’t deal with the general public daily.
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Having just come back from Edinburgh with Easyjet, boarding would be much quicker they made the row number and seat letter visible from a few rows away, everyone stands there trying to work out which seat is A, B, C or D, E, F.
Indeed. Don't think I've been near the place for 20 years - by design.
In the Sotadic Zone, apparently.
Sitting nicely in my seat after boarding, idly watching the other passengers filing along and hoping like all hell that the shambling sweaty lardarse in his ‘trackies’ and reversed baseball cap with a huge carry-on bag and a gurning face like a slapped buffalo’s backside just carries way on past my row, the delight is tremendous when your luck is in and you ‘dodge one’!
Judgemental? Yes I can be and I don’t care!
Is that for both CDG1 and the bracket-shaped terminals? I haven’t been for years but remember the initial 2 brackets to be very convenient. CDG1 was always rather shit but then I have boarded many more international flights from Orly back in the days, and it was then a proper airport.
'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.
It wasn't so much about the user experience in the terminal per se; more the fact that, on a number of occasions, my luggage never made it on either the connecting or even direct flight.
In the Sotadic Zone, apparently.
I've been flying back and forward to Belfast weekly for the last 18 months, and overheard in a bar at International after a gate-closing announcement,
'Don't worry lads, you're okay until they say they're taking your bags off the plane', as he swayed to the bar to order another round...
This thread reminded me of this video.....
https://youtu.be/oAHbLRjF0vo?si=uXjPtaZ05dQXsffm
I believe that once the gate is closed then your overheard commentator was wrong. I’ve seen that once hold luggage removal commences there will be no late passengers allowed to board - unless they’ve not got any hold luggage tabs to show i.e. hand luggage only.
R
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
It appears that United Airlines are going to try boarding window seats first...
https://news.sky.com/story/united-ai...ocess-12987177
You are assuming that people will understand odd and even.
Cheers..
Jase
In the case of Spain, if you board during a week day then things usually go well because most of the passengers are retired and know the ropes.
Never go on a Friday or weekends because that's when the once a year mob get on with their noisy kids and things go wrong because the idiots can't even weigh their luggage or try to bring in oversize hand luggage that causes queues.
Ah but you get some hilarious vignettes when the hoi polloi meet the reality of budget air travel in the 21st Century...last return journey to Espana there was the inevitable face off at check in desk, a large, irate, loud northern woman whose bag was too heavy, upon being told she'd have to pay declaring WITH TREMENDOUS self belief, '' I'M NOT PAYING', over and over again to the utter disregard of the check in Attendant, who merely pointed out she no pay, she no take her luggage.
And then the highlight, we'd passed check in and passport/ customs, been herded to the room just prior to boarding. One blokes hand luggage was too large, the stewardess had politely requested he prove it would fit one of the sizing contraptions, otherwise it was for the main hold...Well this guy took the request like an insult to his manhood, that bag was gonna fit come what may, he's stamping on it, wrestling with it, in the end he tears off the wheelie apparatus entirely, rams it in the test thingy, then hoists the by now severely damaged case above his head, like the world cup, and declaring triumphantly to the whole room ''IT'LL FIT NOW''...ah Brits.
Brilliant 😂😂Ah but you get some hilarious vignettes when the hoi polloi meet the reality of budget air travel in the 21st Century...last return journey to Espana there was the inevitable face off at check in desk, a large, irate, loud northern woman whose bag was too heavy, upon being told she'd have to pay declaring WITH TREMENDOUS self belief, '' I'M NOT PAYING', over and over again to the utter disregard of the check in Attendant, who merely pointed out she no pay, she no take her luggage.
And then the highlight, we'd passed check in and passport/ customs, been herded to the room just prior to boarding. One blokes hand luggage was too large, the stewardess had politely requested he prove it would fit one of the sizing contraptions, otherwise it was for the main hold...Well this guy took the request like an insult to his manhood, that bag was gonna fit come what may, he's stamping on it, wrestling with it, in the end he tears off the wheelie apparatus entirely, rams it in the test thingy, then hoists the by now severely damaged case above his head, like the world cup, and declaring triumphantly to the whole room ''IT'LL FIT NOW''...ah Brits.
Except it's French, derived from Latin
M
Breitling Cosmonaute 809 - What's not to like?
Down size hand luggage limits and enforce it strictly, get boarding cards checked at the bottom of the stairs, how many times have you seen people seated at the back go up the front steps and then fight against the flow trying to reach their seats at the back?
Except it's French, derived from Latin
M
He shoots, he scores........................ Allez les Bleus!
LolAh but you get some hilarious vignettes when the hoi polloi meet the reality of budget air travel in the 21st Century...last return journey to Espana there was the inevitable face off at check in desk, a large, irate, loud northern woman whose bag was too heavy, upon being told she'd have to pay declaring WITH TREMENDOUS self belief, '' I'M NOT PAYING', over and over again to the utter disregard of the check in Attendant, who merely pointed out she no pay, she no take her luggage.
And then the highlight, we'd passed check in and passport/ customs, been herded to the room just prior to boarding. One blokes hand luggage was too large, the stewardess had politely requested he prove it would fit one of the sizing contraptions, otherwise it was for the main hold...Well this guy took the request like an insult to his manhood, that bag was gonna fit come what may, he's stamping on it, wrestling with it, in the end he tears off the wheelie apparatus entirely, rams it in the test thingy, then hoists the by now severely damaged case above his head, like the world cup, and declaring triumphantly to the whole room ''IT'LL FIT NOW''...ah Brits.
That's the spirit.
I used to hate short haul red-eye business meetings where inevitably once a fortnight or so, a non-regular flyer would appear.
Not prepped for the security, belt still on. Places liquids on the laptop or iPad so it looks like a bomb in the X-ray and goes off on its own adventure for inspection.
Primarily T5 and had a lot of grumbles until I had a flight through T3 and was like an airport full
of first-time travellers, and the staff too - had my clear bag that I’d flown with for liquids etc for the last 18months announced it was too large, randomly.
The chaos has got much worse over the years and has largely been caused by the airlines themselves. The first nail in the coffin was charging for hold luggage in order to try and keep ticket prices down. Everyone then bought a maximum sized cabin suitcase, which is wholly inappropriately named and sized. Hefting 15kg into the overhead locker is an accident waiting to happen and slows the entire boarding process. Having done that, the airlines have then sought to enforce the rules, adding another layer of chaos as outlined in previous posts.
Back to the good old days, please. If it's a suitcase it goes in the hold. Other than that, a handbag or my old BOAC bag in the overhead locker. A briefcase if you are in business or first class.
I think that would solve most of the boarding problems.
Other than that, boarding the rear passengers first or boarding from both ends of the plane helps a great deal.
And get rid of speedy boarding which in itself causes chaos. On a flight to Madrid this week, they announced boarding for the speedy boarders and over two thirds of the passengers stood up and formed a disorderly ruck at the gate.
My oldest flew from Schiphol to the Algarve. When boarding, he foud that his seat was taken by a lady and two young kids; one was in his seat. Long story short: the lady had smuggled one of the kids (both were hers) on board without a ticket. The moment the flight attendant found out was the moment a sh*t storm started.
You've got to wonder what she was hoping would happen on the plane. Mind bogglingly stupid!
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