My Mum is alive at the moment, however, when my Mum passes away, my sister is probably going to 'go for me'. She's a jealous, toxic, sociopath. After I saved my Mum's life and looked after her for months to get her back on her feet, my sister accused me of physically abusing my Mum, made up all of these lies about how I mistreated her. She also called the Police on me telling them that I was abusing Mum, when I went to visit (but obviously Mum stated that she was fine and they left).
Anyway, on the advice of some friends who are carers, we made a video, 5 of us, my Mum and two independent witnesses, we had a long conversation, all on video, and my Mum publicly stated in detail how I looked after and that I have never abused her. She also conversationally stated that she has set up a will with the solicitor, she did it on her own and wasn't pressured by anyway.
I have got some of the family that I do get on with to make video character witness statements and testimonials on how I looked after Mum also, in case they're not around if/when it all kicks off.
Mum has shared her house (that's all there is) 50/50 with me and my sister and her family.
My sister and her husband are driven by money, - I suspect when Mum is not around to state the truth my sister will go for me once more. Maybe again with tales of abuse, and contesting the will.
Is there anything more I should do to prepare for a possible X-year battle through the courts with my toxic sister and her husband?
Last edited by PJdB; 21st April 2023 at 16:03.
I would hope the solicitor was aware that your mother and sister are estranged and that the matter is likely to be contentious. This should be reflected both in the solicitor’s attendance notes, and quite possibly also in how the will is drafted. As strange as it sounds, sometimes NOT expressly excluding someone whom a person does not wish to benefit can be a better course of action.
Just keep a record of whats going on. You have recorded interactions with witnesses.
Have the lawyer draw up a document that your mum had her will done on her own and acted in a way that she was of sound mind and body
You have evidence. Your sister has nothing. These type will usually sink their own case as they can't help but rant
What you may not know Mr Dong is that there is legislation in place in the UK designed to protect surviving dependants from being cut out of wills, and that the courts have, in recent years, begun considering a more extrapolated interpretation of what a “dependant” is. So it isn’t quite as simple as you say because contrary to popular belief testamentary freedom in Britain isn’t always unfettered.Originally Posted by DONGinsler
There's also. leave the $1.00 method, but one could still contest the will.
Also found this
it is better to make a definitive statement that you are specifically and intentionally making no provision for that person, or are disinheriting them. Such a statement clearly shows you remembered the individual (they can’t argue you meant to leave them something and just forgot), and also show that you unequivocally intended for them not to be included in your estate. While that person can still contest the Will, such a clear statement will make any litigation more difficult to win, especially if you state why they are disinherited (i.e- I have made provision for them in my lifetime).
Different laws in different countries.
Thanks everyone so far.
Just to clarify something. My Mum is splitting the will 50/50, so my sister is included (although she will be getting less as it's split between her and her kids, I haven't got any).
My sister and her husband have done decorating for my Mum, - knowing them, they'll claim that they are owed more than 50% because they done work on the house (God knows what other sillly tactics they'll try and use). Mum has stated that she paid them for all the materials, - obviously their labour was free
Exactly. The OP is in England so while what you say may be of casual interest it isn’t relevant.
I am fairly certain that there is no 'British' or 'UK' inherritence law, as English law and Scottish law have significant differences.
Now read the rest of the thread - it appears to have been touched on.
I've no advice to add other than to say that seems like an awful situation and you have my sympathy. I hope it gets resolved properly and as your mum intended.
I’m no expert but I’ve done a few probates.
I’ve asked about contesting wills because I was wondering if someone would and the solicitor stated that unless you can prove you were financially dependent on the deceased you have no chance.
From what you describe seems you sister hasn’t got any grounds.
Families…. You have my sympathy. Your sister sounds a right piece of work.
You are indeed correct. The Inheritance (Provision for Family & Dependants) Act applies in England & Wales.
You Scots have your own succession laws which dictate that some of an estate passes to certain recipients.
The common thread (which I glossed over for the benefit of our transatlantic friend) is that, as I said in my earlier post, there isn’t unfettered testamentary freedom in Britain.
This is true. Have a look at the Act, there are very specific circumstances where a will can be challenged.
Just make sure the will has been properly executed. If there is any doubt to the state of mind of the testator, then you can get a GP to provide supporting evidence that they were of sound mind. Other than that, I wouldn’t worry but if you are concerned seek proper legal advice, may save you a lot of stress.
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Well you’d think that but look up the Ilott v Mitson case.
As stated above contesting a will is pretty difficult.
On the basis that the will was made in good faith, and it's a 50/50 split I can't see theres anything to worry about particularly.
Your sister sounds awful, but I guess that just something you have to deal with unfortunately
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My brother had a similar problem when his mother in law died. She left a considerable estate equally to the grandchildren. My Bro has four kids, his wife's brother has one. It got ugly and ended up in court. I don't know the finer details but it all ended up getting divided equally. Greed was the motivating factor and money really does show the real dark side in people sometimes.
OP I don't think you have said who the Executor of the will is to be but it might be better if your mother appoints the solicitor & not you. The solicitor will have a duty to execute the will correctly ignoring any external pressure whereas if you are apointed then you will have to take the brunt of any attacks. It will cost more but you can always point out to your sister that the more she involves the solicitor the higher will be his charges & thes less will be left in the Estate.
Equally to the grandchildren (seems fairest to me) or each 'side' of the family?
I can't see that 'doing decorating' for your Mum is any grounds for challenging an equal division of the estate.
R
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
If your mother's only asset is her house, you may also be in a world of pain if you and your sister (and kids?) have to agree on a value and a sale price.
No advice, but be aware!
I appreciate there has been a lot of legal advice here but have you considered if it is even worth it?
You have had time spent with your mother which is far more valuable than any money or house and if your relatives are as you describe is it worth putting yourself through all that pain for half the property/estate?
Personally I would just walk away and leave them to it.
Spot on - have the solicitor who drew up the will specifically appointed as executor
Evil prospers when?
Only if you have 6 figure salary not starting with 1 and can afford to.
F.T.F.A.
So if you are not wealthy and cant afford solicitors and years of court battles, stress family break up you should go for it?
That makes absolutely no sense.
I would rather be the one person who values my own peace of mind over years of court battles and family break up for the sake of half a house.
I'm completely with you regarding peace of mind and avoiding court battles. But regarding the family break up part of it, that boat will have long sailed for me if they had tried to take my half of the house.
I've just been through 2 yrs of contesting a will.
My 2p is to make sure that you have solicitors records of absolutely everything around the making of the Will. Try and get copies of all of these notes yourself now. Try and get as much of the Solicitors notes, medical reports,etc into your own hands now. Sods law means that anything could happen to the Solicitor between now and needing them in court: lawyer dies or moves to Australia, notes disappear, telephone conversations are not recorded, files go missing,etc,etc.
Additionally, one way to contest a Will is on the grounds of testamentary capacity. There is something called the "golden rule" for solicitors when making a Will for older people. If there is any doubt over mental capacity,etc then a Doctor should make a written assessment of the testator at teh time when the Will is made. Sadly, this isnt an absolute requirement and often is overlooked. What I'm trying to get at is that if you have your Solicitor follow the Golden Rule and have a report form the GP saying there was no dementia/issues,etc at the time of making of the Will you will never be open to the Will being challenged on the grounds of testamentary capacity.
Another route of challenging the Will is "undue influence". Its harder to prove than lack of testamentry capacity and its sounds like your video would be good evidence to rebut that accusation. Whether its sufficient I cant be sure.
Having gone through all of this my advice would be get all your ducks in a row now in the hope its not necessary. Fighting this sort of thing is unbelievably expensive and horrible.
Good luck
Last edited by scalino65; 26th April 2023 at 10:58.
Fair point. The OP's problem however is with a sibling, can't imagine having a problem with immediate family but siblings and their spouses are another kettle of fish.
Thanks, although I'm luckily not in this predicament myself.
Good point, I didn't menition: my Mum has appointed both myself and her solicitor has executors (she changed it from my myself and brother-in-law after the way they treated her during Covid. I think my sister will be upset when she learns this..
I think my sister would be very happy to exhaust the entire estate, - they are financially very well off, and I think would get a lot of joy from causing lots of problems and ensuring that I don't get left a penny.
Thanks again everyone, really appreciate it.
From what you've posted here I really cannot see what you are concerned about.
Your mother's wishes as stated in her Will are that her estate is being split equally between her two children, which is a perfectly normal set of affairs.
The fact that your sister has done some decorating and that she has children are both irrelevant.
R
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
That is happening with me and my mother disinheriting me in favour of sister. Sister could go down the route of Deed of Variation but knew in advance and obviously in on it. Was not estranged from mother but sure as hell am now from sister.
Check that the solicitor that drew up the will and recorded the changes to the executor role has registered everything with Certainty.co.uk, the National Wills Register. It makes everything that little bit more concrete, as anyone involved in probate is well advised to use the search function of that service to identify what appears to be the relevant will rather than just assuming the one found at the property is the latest. Appreciate you may know it is the most recent, but by going to the trouble of having something registered, it makes it more spurious for your sister to try to assert that there is a later will that prevails, but she cannot find it and for some reason it wasn't registered either.....
It's a bit like registering title to your house at the Land Registry, you can sell a property without that based on having the Deeds, but registration has some clear benefits if somebody wants to maliciously contest
I feel for you, truly shocking yet not that uncommon unfortunately.
Do you give up on everything in life that easily. Why wouldn’t he fight for his mothers wishes to be fulfilled? Why would you want to remain close to family who would rob you?
OP, good luck. Nothing to add except I thought it was very funny that Mr Don Ginsler got referred to as Mr Dong.
In regards to cost, - how does it work?
Does the contest always go to court, and if so I presume that both myself and sister will have to pay legal fees and the winner then pays for the other?
Or if my sister goes back and forth directly with my solicitor (if this is possible), then she'll have to fund her own legal fees then? What about the solicitors time, I'm guessing that will come out of, who's, inheritance? I'm clearly confused :D
I would have thought it would be like any legal dispute where the parties initially fund their own costs, if it gets settled before court it is normally on the basis each side still picks up their own costs. Then if a judge decides there is an award on costs which will reflect the outcome and any earlier offers made by the parties to settle that may be disclosable to the court, but only post the judgement so they do not influence the judges decision. The process is geared towards discouraging wasting time and cost of court action. So whilst you might argue at court for say 100% of the proceeds, if you make an offer to settle at 80% in a particular way that is not disclosable to the judge and they subsequently decide 85% is the right answer, the award of costs will reflect that the other party turned down an offer that was more than fair which resulted in additional costs being un-necessarily incurred, especially yours!.
Yes, the estate would need to fund, but a half decent solicitor would tie your sister up in knots well before getting to court, as from what you say she will have been incapable of producing any credible grounds for it going to court and while I am no expert on the subject, I suspect this may fall under a category in which one would then seek to have the proceedings dismissed to avoid wasting a courts time. Courts do not like entertaining a folly.
You can’t contest a will without a legal ground.
Whilst the testator is living, you can easily make the will watertight. As mentioned, get a Dr report on capacity, have evidence of no undue influence (there in no presumption of this - so would be down to challenger to prove) , ensure the will is valid and so are the gifts. Your relative can waste as much as they want on legal advice, but it won’t cost you.
The courts overriding objective is to minimise cost and wasted time. To go to trial, there would have to be a reasonable chance of success. Ensure there is no prospect of this.
If the estate is large enough, get good legal advice now. It will save stress and hassle in the long run . It’s not just about the money, if your relative can’t fight, you both can move on.
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Is your sister my ex-wife?
Sorry to hear of your woes. I hope you get everything tied down nice and tight. She sounds like a vile woman (mind you, so many are).
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