Reply With QuoteAmazing watch that. Tried it in steel:
This is the "Everything TZ-UK Hates: in 1 watch" thread. It is where you can post watches that do everything wrong, watches that nobody likes: silly watches - the ugly, smelly, bad-personality, Billy-no-mates of horology.
You don't have to hate them, just most people. TZ-UK only really likes stuff that'll get recognised at the golf club. So, mainly Rolex. Some Rolex. Not all, because they also make some absolute kill-it-with-fire mutants...
Anyway, I really like this Blancpain, but from the off even its name is silly - I mean "White Bread"! Imagine if Bremont had called themselves "Mother's Pride"... Then they call it "Fifty Fathoms" even though it'll go a lot deeper, and if that isn't confusing enough, they also call it "Bathyscaphe" even though one of those dives deeper than anything else - which this also doesn't - it's not even Blancpain's deepest diver! Yes, it is ostensibly a diver's watch. For a really posh diver, who can afford to have his equipment made out of gold - air tanks, valves, weights - all gold, and his watch, his diver's watch - gold. You can almost taste the smugness.
And then it bungs a moonphase and triple date in for good measure - which of course have to be called 'QUANTIÈME COMPLET PHASES DE LUNE', 'cos that's posher. Obviously you need to know exactly where on the calendar you are when you're up to your neck in stingrays and pirate treasure. Not that it'll ever be on the right setting, because triple date moonphases never are.
£Thirty grand, eh?
But yeah, I do actually like it, even though it is ALL of the Rong™ all at the same time.
Amazing watch that. Tried it in steel:
Sorry, not for me, don't like Moonphase displays. Price is also slightly off-putting!
Ah yes, because I need Moonphase and Calendar in a dive watch?
Anyway, want a Rolex nomination? A flyback dive chronograph in gold white and blue.
Hublot Classic Fusion Orlinski Chronograph
- Its a hublot
- its all black
- there's no lume
- its unreadable in 75% of lighting conditions
- its matte ceramic
- it has the most uncomfortable deployant in the world
- I LOVE IT
Yep, that Blancpain absolutely presses the 'rather shoot myself than be caught wearing that' button. I have to confess to absolutely hating moonphase complications at any point ever, but on a diver it's arse-quakingly pretentious. Particularly in this watch, with that faux-cheery but overall deeply smug smile on the moons' face. Urgh. It might be well made but it looks like it came out of a Christmas cracker.
I know - I need to stop holding back and should tell you what I really think.
At the risk of derailing a quality idea for a thread, that Blancpain is everything I would normally dislike but it’s bleedin’ cool. I like it.
For me it’s the BALL WATCH COMPANY ENGINEER HYDROCARBON AEROGMT SLED DRIVER LIMITED EDITION (and breath)
It’s as if 8 year old me decided to draw picture of a ‘super cool’ watch!
Cr@p name - check!
Overly fussy dial and bezel - check!
Overly complex crown guard - check!
Pants residuals - check!
Gimmicky lume - check and double check for the afterburners at 6 o’clock.
I like it though
Last edited by Sinnlover; 8th September 2022 at 12:07.
This is 100% (one of) the correct answer.Originally Posted by Scepticalist
Ah yes, because I need Moonphase and Calendar in a dive watch?
Anyway, want a Rolex nomination? A flyback dive chronograph in gold white and blue.
Except not really. It's not a dive watch, not even sold as a dive watch.
But that wasn’t the question.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a dive watch or not it whether it’s likely to be universally disliked by the watch ‘community’.
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What are the chances of a TZ member walking into a shop and dropping £9,890 on this ?
I have deliberately quoted that image again, because THAT much Rongness all in one place at one time should not be allowed to be forgotten, that is an assault on all that is decent, that is Horror and Despair, The Watch.Ah yes, because I need Moonphase and Calendar in a dive watch?
Anyway, want a Rolex nomination? A flyback dive chronograph in gold white and blue.
I think you have won this thread, even at this early stage.
Yeh, I see you're keeping your powder dry, pink-strap person... It's a Hublot (silly name), but it's FAR from their nastiest effort.Hublot Classic Fusion Orlinski Chronograph
- Its a hublot
- its all black
- there's no lume
- its unreadable in 75% of lighting conditions
- its matte ceramic
- it has the most uncomfortable deployant in the world
- I LOVE IT
And I, too, actually really like the Orlinski collabs, esp. the shiny primary colour ceramics... I am NOT proud of myself.
Ooof! 'Ball - Invicta with radiation' - good call.At the risk of derailing a quality idea for a thread, that Blancpain is everything I would normally dislike but it’s bleedin’ cool. I like it.
For me it’s the BALL WATCH COMPANY ENGINEER HYDROCARBON AEROGMT SLED DRIVER LIMITED EDITION (and breath)
It’s as if 8 year old me decided to draw picture of a ‘super cool’ watch!
Cr@p name - check!
Overly fussy dial and bezel - check!
Overly complex crown guard - check!
Pants residuals - check!
Gimmicky lume - check and double check for the afterburners at 6 o’clock.
I like it though
(And yeh, I like that one, too...)
Hey guys, we don't have room for the usual 12 line essay we put on the dial.Ah yes, because I need Moonphase and Calendar in a dive watch?
Anyway, want a Rolex nomination? A flyback dive chronograph in gold white and blue.
No problem, let's just put the name on the bezel in giant letters!
Sweet Odin’s beard, that Rolex!
I have always thought it to be the worst of all watches.
So glad it is here already!!!
(I do think we have at least one owner on this forum though!)
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It's in their Sports collection with 100m WR, so I think I can be forgiven a typo.
RM38-02 bubba
- Richard Mille
- Hot pink and white
- Skeletonised
I never criticise the appearance of most things until I see it in the flesh. I saw this monstrosity at an ADs a few years ago and it was bloody awful. Wrongness everywhere.Ah yes, because I need Moonphase and Calendar in a dive watch?
Anyway, want a Rolex nomination? A flyback dive chronograph in gold white and blue.
It'll be lovely when it's finished.What are the chances of a TZ member walking into a shop and dropping £9,890 on this ?
Excellent thread. Keep em coming
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I think I may be the only person on TZ with this, so probably qualifies for that alone. But there are so many other reasons it deserves a mention on this thread.
Firstly, the name. “The Longines Avigation Oversize Crown Single Push-Piece Chronograph”. That’s it’s official name, I didn’t make it up. I’m surprised the engraver didn’t give up half way through when he was carving that in to the case back.
The chrono windows cut off the hour numbers. A common peeve on TZ.
Date window, everyone loves a grumble about date windows, especially when the date wheel is a different colour from the dial.
Bi-directional bezel… I mean, I’ve googled and I’ve still got no idea what the purpose of this bezel is. Presumably some sort of navigational type of task… but I’m guessing (answers welcome).
The lugs. What are those all about?
Cathedral hands? An acquired taste certainly.
Aaaaand then there’s the crown.
And yet something still made me buy it. I still like it, and I really can’t give you a redeeming feature.
Andy.
Last edited by gorrie; 8th September 2022 at 14:06.
Pretty much everything in the Invicta range collaborations range. I've picked one but there are so many hideous watches
https://www.invictawatch.com/watches...l-avengers-men
Nice - serious "Silliest Name" contender there, and also "Crown Most Like R2D2's Cock" contender. Lovely.
And yes, I also like it.
The bezel lets you time hours, FWIW - align it with the hour hand.
I think I may be the only person on TZ with this, so probably qualifies for that alone. But there are so many other reasons it deserves a mention on this thread.
Firstly, the name. “The Longines Avigation Oversize Crown Single Push-Piece Chronograph”. That’s it’s official name, I didn’t make it up. I’m surprised the engraver didn’t give up half way through when he was carving that in to the case back.
The chrono windows cut off the hour numbers. A common peeve on TZ.
Date window, everyone loves a grumble about date windows, especially when the date wheel is a different colour from the dial.
Bi-directional bezel… I mean, I’ve googled and I’ve still got no idea what the purpose of this bezel is. Presumably some sort of navigational type of task… but I’m guessing (answers welcome).
The lugs. What are those all about?
Cathedral hands? An acquired taste certainly.
Aaaaand then there’s the crown.
And yet something still made me buy it. I still like it, and I really can’t give you a redeeming feature.
Andy.
The first award is probably still up for grabs.
But the 2nd award, that’s a done deal.
Thanks!
I'd almost forgotten about the Clownmaster II!
The crown looks very much like the one on the 1913 Longines Pocket Watch sitting on my desk.
It's clearly a homage to a 'trench watch' style watch from the era.
Not for me, but certainly not hate material.
M
Last edited by snowman; 8th September 2022 at 16:32.
Breitling Cosmonaute 809 - What's not to like?
YM II is quite horrible.
Jocke made this back in the day.
Ah... this one!YM II is quite horrible.
Jocke made this back in the day.
I have been attacked so many times on various forums for saying how hideous this watch is... im glad that, over time, it seems people are generally in agreement.
I am going to disagree, especially in the white gold iteration. Would be my exit watch.
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I used to look at RM’s and think WTF.RM38-02 bubba
- Richard Mille
- Hot pink and white
- Skeletonised
Now I’d love to own one, and I don’t know why I really like them.
They probably use the same designers as Invicta.RM38-02 bubba
- Richard Mille
- Hot pink and white
- Skeletonised
+1
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This must be high on the list...
I really like them too, and id have that bubba in a heartbeat!
Anything from the Jacob & Co collection !
This must be high on the list...
Please tell me there's a Miyota quartz actually powering all that, and, ideally, that the little ball does not rattle semi-randomly around the wheel?
I give you the Purnell Pit Lane. (I'm not sure why it's called 'Pit Lane'. It's 17.9mm thick, so 'Brick Lane' is nearer the mark.)
It's a 200k CHF watch so horribly over-the-top that there are few pictures of it available on the Interweb. A watch that fell from the Ugly Tree & smashed into every branch on its way to the ground.
Worst of all, it resembles a £100 GShock!
Prepare yourself & open the link: https://www.ablogtowatch.com/cecil-p...-watch-review/ -
Last edited by jwg663; 9th September 2022 at 15:26.
______
Jim.
At least it has a 42 jewel movement and 60hr power reserve. But it rotates continuously. Not great for trying to see the time when you need to get the last train home, coming out of the pub
I give you the Purnell Pit Lane. (I'm not sure why it's called 'Pit Lane'. It's 17.9mm thick, so 'Brick Lane' is nearer the mark.)
It's a 200k CHF watch so horribly over-the-top that there are few pictures of it available on the Interweb. A watch that fell from the Ugly Tree & smashed into every branch on its way to the ground.
Worst of all, it resembles a £100 GShock!
Prepare yourself & open the link: https://www.ablogtowatch.com/cecil-p...-watch-review/ -
That's spectacularly appalling. Obviously the only people who could ever consider this would be despotic billionaires for whom taste comes about 19th on the list.
If anyone needs an excuse not to call their first born Cecil this is it. Terrible watch and a terrible name for a watch company.I give you the Purnell Pit Lane. (I'm not sure why it's called 'Pit Lane'. It's 17.9mm thick, so 'Brick Lane' is nearer the mark.)
It's a 200k CHF watch so horribly over-the-top that there are few pictures of it available on the Interweb. A watch that fell from the Ugly Tree & smashed into every branch on its way to the ground.
Worst of all, it resembles a £100 GShock!
Prepare yourself & open the link: https://www.ablogtowatch.com/cecil-p...-watch-review/ -
“Yes Son you were named after my watch”… stop moaning, it’s not that bad or go and play with your brother Wancher”
Re Cecil -
I wonder if it's 'Sessil' or 'Seasil'? The latter, I suspect.
BTW, I find every Purnell watch that I've seen equally gopping. Technically interesting perhaps, but fugly!
______
Jim.
I give you the Purnell Pit Lane. (I'm not sure why it's called 'Pit Lane'. It's 17.9mm thick, so 'Brick Lane' is nearer the mark.)
It's a 200k CHF watch so horribly over-the-top that there are few pictures of it available on the Interweb. A watch that fell from the Ugly Tree & smashed into every branch on its way to the ground.
Worst of all, it resembles a £100 GShock!
Prepare yourself & open the link: https://www.ablogtowatch.com/cecil-p...-watch-review/ -
FFS - if Lego made wristwatches...
Those screws . . . the font . . . the size . . . the position . . .
So far it's more like 'loves to hate'. To really get to the point of near disgust, you need something old, small, manky and from an unpopular brand:
Having the caseback off to reveal bodged repairs carried out at home rather than STS or similar helps, so this Rotary fits the bill nicely
That is 200% Tragic.
I dunno. It’s the perfect watch for a bronzed, hairy chested porn baron isn’t it??!! - tbh if I came into an obscene amount of money I’d buy one - there’s something admirably cheesy about it!
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Has this been mentioned yet?
Why would it be? It's awesome!Has this been mentioned yet?
I want to see somebody wearing this watch!RM38-02 bubba
- Richard Mille
- Hot pink and white
- Skeletonised
Sent from my iPad using TZ-UK mobile app
The Daytona sported by Nick Cage there is just so extravagantly crass and vulgar that one can only assume that it's deliberate - therefore, for me at least, it has a certain validity as a sort of wrist-borne art installation. The sheer ostentation, coupled to the bombastic, unapologetic bad taste is really quite affecting. Of course if you think about that too much it becomes self-defeating.
More interesting to me though is the Longines chrono pictured above. A delightful example of something being greater than the sum of its parts. I don't like lugs that looks as though they've been soldered on. I disdain date windows at 6. I really dislike cathedral hands and I normally shun onion crowns. And yet on these piece, they complement each other very nicely. I really like it.
I don't mind the half-eaten numerals or the contrasting date window in any case (pun not intended).
Re Pit lane-And I thought I had stopped feeling seasick 45 years ago.
This one's a puzzler - I mean, the watch is right up there with the most gratuitously nasty, vulgar and ostentatious displays of wealth that can be crammed onto the limited space of the human wrist, then we notice details like the crusted filth right around the bezel, and the broken button on Cage's sports jacket... I'm not terribly familiar with his oeuvre - was he in-character for this shot? Or does he routinely prance-about in such carefully-contrived déshabillé?Has this been mentioned yet?
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