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Thread: Zombie Apocalypse

  1. #1
    Journeyman Greenman's Avatar
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    Zombie Apocalypse

    The Zombie Apocalypse is upon us and the infection rate is growing ... are you prepared?

    Thought it would be a laugh to write some thoughts or plans people have for when the day arrives.

    This may link up with your Purge plans or just the 'Protect your tower, Trump is in Power' era we've found ourselves in!

    Enjoy!

  2. #2
    Journeyman Greenman's Avatar
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    I'll start with the obvious bunker in the garden.

    I've wanted one for a while, just in case - but it seems like it may come in handy over the next few years!

  3. #3
    Master
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    I'll take the pill. Don't think I could manage fighting for everything with all the crazies who would be left. Salford or Cheetham Hill are bad enough

  4. #4
    Easy...I'm going to lock myself in this bunker...not forgetting a lifetime supply of fish fingers and Cadburys mini eggs munchies..

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-39064526

  5. #5
    Grand Master
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    The minute there's a whiff of it I'm off up to the highland islands with the dog.

  6. #6
    Grand Master Seamaster73's Avatar
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    Learn to fly a helicopter. If Romero's movies teach us anything, it's that only those that can fly a helicopter survive.

  7. #7
    Grand Master Velorum's Avatar
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    Ive not given it much thought but....

    I will log straight on to here in order to read all the 'I can see zombies in the next street, which watch should I wear' threads

    (Hopefully the RIP threads craze will have died down by then or the server will crash)

    I will then lock all of the doors and windows (except one) and await their arrival. As they surround the house I will poke a hand trough the one remaining open window in order to be bitten before quickly locking it again.

    I can then turn into one of them in the privacy and relative calm of my own home and hopefully avoid the unpleasantness of having parts of me interfered with whilst still compos mentis.

    Afterwards I can then simply join in with the mayhem free from fear and anxiety. I may run amok in Waitrose or the new Costa they have opened in the village.

    Whilst waiting for the 'change' I will probably watch an old episode of 'Allo Allo' or perhaps a Carry On film in order to keep my spirits up.

    This is the best plan I can come up with at time of writing - I will keep thinking about it though.

  8. #8
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seamaster73 View Post
    Learn to fly a helicopter. If Romero's movies teach us anything, it's that only those that can fly a helicopter survive.
    there was an episode of Walking Dead where a helicopter crashed killing those onboard with the usual aftermath. Also another episode where the roof of a building collapsed (it had a helicopter and undead parked there)

  9. #9
    Grand Master Seamaster73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrushton View Post
    there was an episode of Walking Dead where a helicopter crashed killing those onboard with the usual aftermath. Also another episode where the roof of a building collapsed (it had a helicopter and undead parked there)
    And there's that outrageous deus ex machina business with a helicopter at the end of Lamberto Bava's Dèmoni, which is a zombie movie in everything but name.

  10. #10
    I'd start the day with a 'What watch should I wear for the zombie apocalypse?' thread.

  11. #11
    Master subseastu's Avatar
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    Run round my mum & dads and get his rifles and them if they've not been turned. Leg it back to mine and lock ourselves in the cellar with an unhealthy amount of wine / beer / gin. Just hope the wifi works down there.

  12. #12
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    Zombies don't swim and can't sail. I'll fill the boot up at Waitrose and go down to the marina, hoist sails and stay clear of shores for some time.
    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  13. #13
    Master
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    Depends on which Zombies.
    Shaun of the Dead or George Romeros stumbling, bumbling useless ones. No bother as will take over a small hotel in the highlands I know and wait it out there.
    The ones from I am Legend would lead to a booze and overdose party in peace before the inevitable.

  14. #14
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisparker View Post
    I'd start the day with a 'What watch should I wear for the zombie apocalypse?' thread.
    Guys I am ahead of the curve. I already had such thread a while back http://forum.tz-uk.com/showthread.ph...bie-Apocalypse

    Anyway, i definately would like to secure food and weapons. High altitude is probably preferable.

  15. #15
    Master kungfugerbil's Avatar
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    I think I'd go down to the Winchester, have a pint and wait for all of it to blow over.

  16. #16
    Grand Master AlphaOmega's Avatar
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    AO zombie diary

    T+3
    Well, it's been a few days now since the first case was reported. The NHS has contained the virus but is recommending we all stay indoors. Work are fine. Went on TZ and saw a 5513 up for trade - managed to get it for a grand. Everyone seems to be realising assets.

    T+4
    Difficult day today. Our neighbour took the dog for a walk and hasn't come back. Apparently there was a fight at the local supermarket. Logged in to TZ and managed to swap a PO for a slab of tinned fruit I'd stockpiled in the 90s. Tried to sleep but there were too many sirens. May has declared martial law.

    T+5
    Got up. Ate some tinned beef. The television is off now as there are no broadcasts. Radio is on a loop. The neighbour is back but looks weird. I'm sure his teeth have lengthened. Checked SC and managed to swap my hunting knife for a 5512. The postal services aren't working so it'll have to be a F2F. Couldn't sleep. Got bitten by the neighbour's dog. Feel a bit strange...

    [To be continued...]

  17. #17
    Master kungfugerbil's Avatar
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    The conversation with my wife would be:

    Her: Okay, you've got guns
    Me: Loads!
    Her: Knives?
    Me: Plenty!
    Her: Food? water?
    Me: ....bugger. Just off to Lidl.

  18. #18
    Grand Master Seamaster73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint-Just View Post
    Zombies don't swim and can't sail. I'll fill the boot up at Waitrose and go down to the marina, hoist sails and stay clear of shores for some time.
    You never saw Fulci's Zombi 2, I take it? This is one of Tarantino's all-time favourite movie scenes:

    https://youtu.be/GcH8dQ0H1Tw

  19. #19
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    In this event - Jesse Eisenberg is god...

    Rule 1 - Cardio
    Rule 2 - The Double Tap
    Rule 3 - Beware of bathrooms
    Rule 4 - Wear seat belts
    Rule 14 - Always carry a change of underwear
    Rule 18 - Limber Up
    Rule 22 - When in doubt, know your way out
    Rule 31 - Check the back seat
    Rule 32 - Enjoy the little things

  20. #20
    Master sean's Avatar
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    For posterity:

    It started barely three days ago, on August 4, 2018, sometime in the morning. No one knows how it began, but there are rumours. Government experimentation gone wrong and out of control, alien infection, a chance mutation. They've all been mentioned. But no one really knows. At least, no one who's left alive.

    There was an explosion. It was reported on the news, down in London, somewhere near Croydon. An oil depot said one report, a gas main said another. The devastation was huge, with many killed. But then the reports changed, with talk of burn victims from the explosion chasing people. There was shaky footage of lumbering men, scarred and tattered, limping down wreckage-strewn streets. Then the reports stopped, one by one. There was no TV at all. Radio was intermittent. No one knew what was happening.

    There was no panic up here until the afternoon. It was a sunny day, on the hot side. Massive power interruptions down south were blamed for the TV and radio's disappearance, and that was believed for a few hours. But then people here saw them. The ruined men and women in rags were in the high street. I saw them. They weren't burned like the ones on TV though. They looked rotted. Some had missing limbs, others seemed all there apart from an absent eye, or a only half a head of hair. All of them had a sickly pallor, and a vacant stare. Those who approached them at first were taken. They were rounded on, grabbed and dragged into the crowd of them. The victims' screams rang out and there was a terrible, indescribable sound. Limbs being wrenched off? Flesh being torn? I don't want to think about it.

    After that people started to flee. Soon the roads were jammed with cars, horns blaring and drivers swearing. Fights broke out, but the futility of the disputes soon became apparent and none lasted long. That's when the march began to form. Those who started out on foot were joined by the stymied car drivers and passengers. No one said where they were going, everyone just knew, somehow, that we had to go north. People took only what they could carry, and in many cases they took nothing. When it really comes down to it, stuff doesn't matter. A lot of people found that out today.

    The first night was OK. Many kept walking, while others camped out on the side of the road. There was a weird comfort being among a lot of people, all in the same situation. The panic of the initial exodus has calmed, this was the new normal. A refugee line up, making its way who knows where.

    The next morning things changed. At dawn most people were back on their feet, some complaining about food or water. People took what they could from the deserted houses and shops on the way, what little was left. Others shared what they'd brought with them. But then word spread from behind. Whatever they were, they'd caught up. Move faster! Run! The orderly file of people disintegrated, scattering left and right. Some barricaded themselves into abandoned houses, prepared to put up a defense. But we'd heard rumours about people who'd tried that. Even those that had guns hadn't lasted long.

    I was alone. I could see a few people on the road ahead and behind, but now it was each for his own...

  21. #21
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seamaster73 View Post
    You never saw Fulci's Zombi 2, I take it? This is one of Tarantino's all-time favourite movie scenes:

    https://youtu.be/GcH8dQ0H1Tw
    Mental note: don't be tempted to have a swim.

    The amount of knowledge on this forum will save my life
    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  22. #22
    Master kungfugerbil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seamaster73 View Post
    You never saw Fulci's Zombi 2
    Bizarrely that one has passed me by. Excellent, thanks for that.

  23. #23
    Grand Master Seamaster73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kungfugerbil View Post
    Bizarrely that one has passed me by. Excellent, thanks for that.
    Boy, are you in for a treat. One of the all-time greats. What I wouldn't give to be seeing that one again for the first time.

    Don't read anything about it, as the most famous special effects sequence has lost none of its power since 1979 and needs to be seen without spoilers.

  24. #24
    "Removing the head or destroying the brain"

    All you need to know

  25. #25
    Grand Master Seamaster73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brighty View Post
    "Removing the head or destroying the brain"

    All you need to know
    Wouldn't help you versus the flying zombie head in Fulci/Mattei's Zombi 3.

    https://youtu.be/7yvXxH2fVho

  26. #26
    Master kungfugerbil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seamaster73 View Post
    Don't read anything about it, as the most famous special effects sequence has lost none of its power since 1979 and needs to be seen without spoilers.
    Understood. Many thanks.

  27. #27
    Master kungfugerbil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seamaster73 View Post
    Boy, are you in for a treat. One of the all-time greats.
    I enjoyed that. I'm assuming the sequence you referenced was the one with the woman and the splintered wood and the...

    Good film. Richard Johnson lifted the whole piece, classy actor.

  28. #28
    Grand Master Seamaster73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kungfugerbil View Post
    I enjoyed that. I'm assuming the sequence you referenced was the one with the woman and the splintered wood and the... Good film. Richard Johnson lifted the whole piece, classy actor.
    Glad you enjoyed it. If it's given you a taste for Fulci's zombies, check out his follow-ups City of the Living Dead and The Beyond — the latter in particular is considered a classic of Italian horror.

  29. #29
    Master
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    Awesome diving outfit!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Seamaster73 View Post
    You never saw Fulci's Zombi 2, I take it? This is one of Tarantino's all-time favourite movie scenes:

    https://youtu.be/GcH8dQ0H1Tw

  30. #30
    Grand Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by zanderpants View Post
    Awesome diving outfit!!
    Rookie, she spat but didn't rinse.


    Cracking norks though.

  31. #31
    Master village's Avatar
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    Br....ainnssssss.....

  32. #32
    Grand Master snowman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kungfugerbil View Post
    The conversation with my wife would be:

    Her: Okay, you've got guns
    Me: Loads!
    Her: Knives?
    Me: Plenty!
    Her: Food? water?
    Me: ....bugger. Just off to Lidl.
    I've been in a Lidl - How will you distinguish the Zombies from regular customers?

    M

  33. #33
    Master gunner's Avatar
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    Head to the coast and nick a large boat.

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