Reply With QuoteBuy her an MX-5.
Has anyone managed to win over an ex girlfriend before?
I split up with my GF of 3 years, two weeks ago (her decision). I've text her a couple of times and her replies are rather blunt. I met her last weekend for a chat, and we spoke for three hours in the pub, she seems to be happy with her decision (although she had tears in her eyes). She told me she hasn't been happy in a while, and wants to stop pretending, and have time for herself etc. Annoyingly, she told me she loved me the week before and we were making plans for Christmas / New Year etc. I'm almost certain there's no other guy involved as, the mood she was in last weekend, she'd have happily told me. Plus, with hindsight, I can see she’s been feeling like this for a little while.
Just thought I'd see if anyone had any good ideas, experience is invaluable! Currently weighing my options; which I've accepted are rather limited. It's likely walking away is my best option but, sadly, she means the world to me... More than my watch collection even D:
P.S Strange thread, I know, but needs must..
Buy her an MX-5.
when woman break out of a long term relationship with plans, there is always another guy/girl.
she may not have dated him yet, she may not have even told her friends about him, but she has met a guy and he has ticked boxes for her, you have not.
if you are determined to 'win her over' get on with your life and ignore her, and when you do meet be as vague as possible as to what you are up to/who you are seeing.
become the mystery man to her, make sure mutual friends no nothing about your personal life, and again if you bump into her don't go down the route of 'how are you' 'coping well' etc, chat for seconds, say hello and move on.
The voice of experience says that if you got back together you will eventually split again.
Sometimes best to move on
As Soundood has said, basically leave her alone - no texts, nothing.
then wait - for a while maybe a few months - if it was meant to be, it will be (& she will be the one coming back) if not, move on..........time is always a great healer.
In the meantime, there's always POF.com......
Good luck!
Move on
Life is not about being happy all the time
Rubbish.Originally Posted by soundood
Walk away. Trust me, it's over. If it's not strong enough to still be together now, it never will be.
Remember the good times with happiness and move on.
PS desperate messages of love may seem like a good idea now, but you'll regret them later. Justkeep it to yourself!
Move on, if something is to happen again in the future she needs to initiate it otherwise it will always feel like she's doing you a favour.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKxodgpyGec
interesting kettle terence
trust me, when she left you, there was already someone else in the picture, get over it.
Move on as quickly as you can and don't go back. It takes a lot of balls to end a relationship so she would have been thinking about this for quite some time. She's already worked everything through in her head, argued for and against, etc. If you try to change her mind then you're doing this against her better judgement. Whatever reason she has for ending it, it's probably the right reason.
Whatever you do, don't beg or barrage her with calls/texts/emails as this will not only prolong the pain for yourself but more often than not adds further weight to support her decision to break up in the first place.
Finally, instead of focusing on what you've lost, look at the new opportunities that have now opened up.
It's your only option. She has tried to sugar coat it but she wants out and has probably been working up to saying it for a while.
Give her a big smile, wish her all the best then go.
A woman is like a monkey, they will not let go of one branch until another one is available. Move on!
Got to agree with Andrew here, you could eventually win her back but it'll never be the same second time around. There will always be that doubt in either yours or her mind.The voice of experience says that if you got back together you will eventually split again.
Sometimes best to move on
Maybe not what you want to hear but from my experience very true.
Good luck however everything works out.
If you try and get back together with her you will push her further away. Do not contact her at all, if she contacts you keep it friendly but formal
As others have said carry on like you don't give a damn, that is your only hope.
In the meantime go out and get laid, best way to get over a girl is with another girl even if it is just casual as you are probably not in a good place to get back into another relationship for a while.
However you are now a free agent, enjoy it !
Wise words - fill your boots
Whenever a relationship breaks down there's a fundamental reason for it happening. She says "she hasn't been happy for a while" so you need to find out what that means. Why was she unhappy? Answer that and you know instantly whether it's recoverable and also if you think it's worth recovering. Maybe she's pissed because you spend too much time on here but perhaps that's not something you wish to change in order to get back with her? Don't be one of those guys that's gives up everything they believe in, enjoy, are, just to cling onto a relationship 👊 As great as the three years have been and as miserable as it seems now, other relationships (good and bad) are out there to be experienced. Finally, if she was unhappy, pretending,needs time to herself etc, ask yourself how you missed that and why these things didn't come to light at any other point during the three years. I suspect she's not being genuine about the reasons why she's split.
Trip to Amsterdam, spliffs, space cakes, coke and hookers. 3,2,1 your back in the room, over her and planning your next trip.
Another vote for 'move on' I'm afraid.
Happens to everyone, and with the benefit of hindsight you'll look back and wonder why you were so upset.
Only when two people want to be in a relationship can it work.
I wouldn't advocate giving her the cold shoulder with the hope of winning her back, give her the cold shoulder in the knowledge it's over and don't give yourself what will ultimately be false hope.
I had an ex who broke it off; we got on OK but we were young and she just wanted to be young and, well, young.
She found another guy soon after, but they don't get on that great - I sometimes wonder does she look back with regret.
I, on the other hand, met a fantastic girl soon after, and we've been together since.
Last edited by demonloop; 9th October 2015 at 12:02.
this is the advice to follow,
pining after her, or trying to win her back wont really work,
you need to give her space, see what her life is like without you, if she is happier then it wasnt meant to be, if she realises she had a good thing and you havent already moved in she will come back to you, and appreciate you a bit more to boot!
I know that's the way forward but, like an idiot, I sent her a drunk text at 1.30am this morning.. (To be clear - it wasn't an arsey, begging, or anything like that text though). I'm an idiot!
Hope you did"nt buy her that Burberry bag on SC.. that might of tipped her over the edge
thought i would lighten the mood there.....
Cheers
Wayne
interesting kettle terence
Well we have all done that before and it is just something you do ...i done that once and her new boyfriend replied and of course we a had a really pleasant conversation
you have done that now so leave well alone give her time to breathe as well
not easy mate but time is a healer and isnt better to know now and not after you have married kids etc... good luck
all these messages are brought to you by the people who have been there before you
Cheers
Wayne
interesting kettle terence
No. Move on.
Walk away. It happened to me, and when it did I told the girl how I felt but that I understood her decision. Radio silence for two years and then out of the blue I got a phone call from her... We've now been married for 15 years.
Has she got a sister?
Or how fit is her mum?
Both !
interesting kettle terence
Sorry this has happened to you. I know it's painful. The same thing happened to me this year and I thought it would take a long time for me to move on, but actually I met someone else fairly quickly and am now MUCH happier than in the old relationship.
If the breakup hadn't happened, I would never have met this amazing woman, so I'm very glad it did (though of course I didn't feel like that at the time).
Best response so far! ROTFL
Harsh but fair and probably accurate in many cases.
Spend some time on your own, then find someone else to start sniffing around and see how you feel in a few months.
Happened to me too - best thing.
As the old adage definitely does not go:
Sometimes the bush in your hand is worth less than two bushes on some other birds.... or something like that.
My experience, too...
Sorry to hear this, it can be really hard and I hope you can bounce back soon.
I too agree you need to move on. It's not worth trying and re-kindle something which didn't work out before as it's likely it won't work in the future either. Trust me I'm sure you'll look back on this one day and will be glad you've got on with your life and found someone who appreciates you for who you are and who is content with just the two of you being together. There are some good women out there; just watch out for the crazy bitches!
Best of luck buddy, keep your pecker up!
PS> For a laugh get on Youtube and search 'Hot Crazy Matrix' - hysterical; but sound dating advice!
As others have said, whatever you do don't pester or grovel. On the other hand if SHE comes grovelling in a few days weeks or months, do make sure to smash her proverbial back doors in before doing the "big grin and not looking back" walk.
Where there is no will there is no way.
Nope. If she's finally plucked up the courage to finish it she won't be swayed.
6 months down the line, maybe - if she realises the grass ain't always greener or whatever, but for now you're best leaving her to it.
Book a week in Magaluf or Vegas with a couple of single mates and go and enjoy life, you will see there are perks to being single as well. Plus you can't knock a cheap Christmas (silver linings...)
Took me a few months to sort myself out when this happened to me, I'd love to tell you to give your head a wobble and put yourself back out there but it's not happening, it's true that time is the greatest healer. Six months after splitting with my fiancee of 4 years at 23 years old I met the girl who is now my wife, we've been together ten years and approaching our fifth wedding anniversary.
My prediction is you'll hear from her again when she gets dumped by new guy and wants a bit of attention and her bruised ego massaging
On a lighter note
Another vote for just binning her off here. There's a big world of other stuff out there and chasing something that is most likely to be one sided is a waste of your time and resources. If you grovel she'll possibly make you feel like a pitiful being or worse still start to take advantage of you in a not so desirable fashion.
Winning women back is something that only ever happens in Hollywood movies.
As everyone has said, dry your eyes, look forward not back and when your back is straight again, get yourself some rebound action.
When you're good and ready, settle down with the one who does appreciate you. A good five years younger model too, if you can.
The ex will hate that. :)
I have. More than once.
Just never one of my own exes...
It's now definitely time to call it a day on any efforts to "win her back". Aside from the fact that it won't work, pestering her - I know that is a very harsh term and I know that it not your intention, but that is how she could easily choose to see it - will put you in danger of being accused of harassment if it continues.
It just takes time to accept. Go and do something else. Honestly. And commiserations.
At least according to your posts it seems there there are no children involved or shared property / business interests. That is to say, this is an excellent opportunity for everyone to move on relatively painlessly.
Move on and get yourself onto PoF as a matter of urgency.
Tough times, but you need to move on. She may come back to you, but these things usually happen for a reason, it may be another guy, or she just isn't happy in the relationship. Either way you have no control over things.
Maintain your dignity, and silence and get out there and have some friends with your mates!
Best of luck
Plenty more dogs in the park!
Your not going to be single forever, enjoy it why you are!!
Best the thing you can do is delete her number from your phone and don't lock back.
If she wanted to get intouch she would have and it would never be same as before that soon so leave it alone
Just wanted to echo what has been said by most here. Unfortunately, as Bill Paxton said in 'Aliens', "its game over man...IT'S JUST GAME OVER!!!". Trying to win her back is genuinely futile and will do nothing for your state of mind in the long run.
Harsh but this is the reality. Nothing hurts like a breakup but you'll be surprised how quickly you will bounce back. Stay strong and just accept this is the way it is.
All the best!
I cant say it better than this....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c
To the original poster the answer is no. I cringe at the memory of trying to win back/pestering an ex who I had been with for 3 years in my early-mid 20s. She gave me the whole "its not you its me", "i just need space" nonsense. Discovered later she had decided to move on to a guy she worked with. I look back now and see it was a lucky escape, as she was not actually a very nice person, but at the time it was no fun, no fun at all.
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