Reply With QuotePoor lamb. You would need to post this in the bear pit so I can tell you what I think of the moan. Meanwhile have a nice warm mug of HTFU and take a big dose of Getoveryourself and I'm sure you will recover.
Just posted this on the BHX review site and thought I would share it with you guys. Do not bother telling me that there is a need for passenger security checks, I am fully aware of this but I do not see it as a license for security 'staff' to jerk people about as they please!
Flew to Hamburg last Thursday, I had to go through the metal detector, ( I did not set it off) have a hand scanner search, go through a body scanner, have everything in my shoulder bag taken out and examined and various items swabbed including my sunglasses!!!!! Well BHX security, how many planes have been brought down by a slim pair of sunglasses? The only time the security 'youth' dropped his irritating smirk was when he picked up my iPhone charging cable and looked at it like it was a length of det cord!
Yea, why did you not ask for a hair from my eyebrow and examine it under a scanning electron microscope to verify that it did not pose a threat to the bloody aircraft!
I recognise the need for security checks but this lot think they can do what they like under the umbrella of secuuuuurity! I was flying to Hamburg from Birmingham, not to Washington with a direct transfer to the White House lawn!!!
For the record, I have no convictions, have never taken a prohibited drug in my life, have never tried to get anything through customs that I should have declared and I was travelling WITHIN the EU and had to endure this absurd level of security processing.
Well I am NOT happy and will mark that by going out of my way to fly from other airports in future. BHX, thanks for NOTHING!
Last edited by KavKav; 27th August 2014 at 22:33.
Poor lamb. You would need to post this in the bear pit so I can tell you what I think of the moan. Meanwhile have a nice warm mug of HTFU and take a big dose of Getoveryourself and I'm sure you will recover.
I'd say them swabbing your sunglasses definitely entitles you to post in the 'First World Problems' thread.
I once came back from An Event in the US with a guy who realised - mid Atlantic - that he had a film can full of black powder in his pocket. Simpler times :)
Yea Josh and Mike, I get it, all roll over and be jerked about in the name of secuuuuurity! Amazing how on my return through Hamburg airport the security checks were straightforward, guess the Germans must be really inefficient, hey?
Theres a ferry which runs from Harwich to Hamburg - problem solved for next time.
Judging by the inerrant method of looking at your avatar picture the answer is obvious. The Germans reckon you are one of them so through you go. The chaps at Brum reckon you're a Hun so are giving you the full a&e glish so to speak. QED.
i reckon you are just disappointed to have missed out on a cavity search. Better luck next time!
Not any more! That ended in 2002...Originally Posted by vulcangascompany
so what exactly has upset you? if not the security checks?
Swabbing the glasses sounds very reasonable to me, the number of times your hands touch your glasses, if they were going to find traces of anything then the glasses was a good place to start, I don't think they were expecting you had concealed something in them.
If it was more the attitudes of the security staff, then fair enough I can understand that...I've been through NY airports!
Wittiness is not normally your thing Josh, but a quality effort on this occasion!
I hope you told them how very upset you were.
Without feedback how are they supposed to improve?
To be honest, it was! I did not like being jerked about by a short-arsed smirking twat of a 'yuf' radiating his power to inconvenience. I know it sounds a bit petulant but there was nothing in my bag to cause concern or warrant his microscopic examination of everything, if there had been anything then I would have easily understood the thoroughness of the search. Perhaps he read my mind and thought "If he thinks I am an arsehole, I may as well act like one"! Hey-ho!
Yes, I empathise. A while ago I was going through B'ham Airport and the security operative told me that My toiletries were in the wrong type of transparent plastic bag. Bear in mind I had used this bag on many previous trips through security at B'Ham without incident.
Anyway, I pointed out that the toiletry bag was airport approved and that I had, in fact, bought it at that very airport.
"I'm just enforcing the legal requirements Sir"
So, to get throught the security I had to empty my toiletry bag into another very similar plastic bag.
Post-security I rebagged everything in the original bag, walked down through Duty Free and sure enough, they were still selling the airport approved toiletry bags that I had just had rejected.
Life gets more Kafkaesque every day.
In all honesty been someone who prior to retirement travelled all over the World look at it from Mr zero hours /min wage point of view, are you going through fast track with your laptop , phone, watch, shoes etc all reeking of a class above you and now is your chance to strike back so lets put Mr smart alec, Mr know it all through it its called human nature so just grin and bear it sink into your club class seat shoot the cuffs clock the watch and move on.
I don't think it works that way, bombs etc are not normally labeled as such, the bomb or whatever could have been in your checked baggage too
Sounds as if your poker face needs some work, I know mine does.
Probably you were just the unlucky one that got the full works.
Doesn't mean they can treat you shitty tho, hope you managed to get his name and report him, probably best not mention the glasses swabbing tho
Coming through Chicago O'hare, I nearly got a bottle of water taken off me as I couldn't produce the receipt to prove I had bought it in departures and not before entering departures, luckily I remembered I had binned the receipt as soon as I had left the shop, this reassured the officer, so I was allowed the water
Think I prefer the excess glasses swabbing rude sod to the idiot in O'hare, security wise.
Last edited by jegger; 28th August 2014 at 00:20.
Well thats a jobsworth going way over the top. However when flying back from germany afew years ago a father had his childs play sword taken away he didnt say anything. I did all I said was , that its just a lads pirate sword, this sword was about 3ft im sure you know the type of thing. They took me to one side, I was searched, in my wallet I had a small survival tool they took that from me because it had a sharp bit which was about an inch long. This caused aload of grief because I had all my students passports. Sorry for the rant.
Only thing I dislike about Plane travel, i came back from Malta last week, i put my paul smith holdall in a box (All the women were putting large handbags and big bags into the boxes) so i just followed...anyway the berk decided to turn the box upside down to take the holdall out of it, i said "what the fuck are you doing?" to which she snarled "Go to the back of the queue", to be honest I thought after I'm suprised they didn't nick me for saying that....
Anyway, just absolute power mad people, I remember when we went on a lads holiday, and 'as you do', we had T-shirts made with "Napa" (As in Ayia Napa) wrote on the front, anyway the copper stopped us to ask us what Napa stood for, I honestly reckon he thought we were part of a far-right movement or the like.
@ OP - Can't see anything excessive or extraordinary in the guy's actions.. Oh and as they say, ignorance is a bliss..
Last edited by VDG; 28th August 2014 at 01:12.
You should have seen the face of the security guard at Amsterdam airport a few years ago when I went through the checkpoint and put a bundle of four 5-foot, 1-inch thick nylon poles/batons on the conveyor belt. "Hey, you! What the hell is that?" "They are replacement support poles for a hot-air balloon burner." "Ummm... But-but you could HIT someone with them!"
Yeah. I explained that I could hardly have checked them, as they did not fit in a case, so I'd rather walk them to the plane myself and have them put in the luggage boot there (this was a regional flight to Clermont-Ferrand with a small Embraer and you can take non-dangerous luggage through the security checkpoint, fit a tag and then leave it at the foot of the stairway into the plane - at arrival your bag is waiting for you at the foot of the stairs so you don't have to wait at the luggage caroussel; very practical). The guy gave it some thought and then let me pass, impressing on me to 'not ever do that again'. OK, so it wasn't sharp and it was not a gun or an explosive...
Of course the whole security theater is only meant to impress on people that they are not citizens but subjects. Anyone with half a brain could come up with a dozen ways to get a weapon or explosive into a plane while circumventing the security check. The only thing you need is a bit of time and someone regularly working on the 'inside' of the security perimeter who can smuggle in a weapon or explosive for a hijacker. I'm sure every terrorist group has thought of such things, but they don't need to as the terrorizing is already being done by government cronies.
None of these war stories can hold a candle to the shock and awe experience one is subjected to on arriving at any Australian international airport carrying ... a small stick.
A satsuma or even a gift-wrapped chopstick works too. These things pose a national threat. Expect full lock-down and for your patronising jobsworth meter to require permanent recalibration.
Paul
After some patronising experiences I tend to go through Red on arrival in Australia now, and declare a packet of Duty Free purchased sweets as foodstuff. This usually gets a wry smile and a "No, they're okay sir" comment before being sent on through, avoiding the long queues of those being searched for biological warfare in Green
And I once had my slightly muddy boots cleaned for me on arrival in New Zealand to avoid contaminating their beautiful country. They were very nice about it though, so slightly off topic.
Whoa! Hang on! Are you being understanding and nice?!?! Get out! Just GET OUT!
At least your watch wasn't scratched like the dipstick at Stanstead that dropped the tray with my watch in it as I had to take it off for scanning because it was bulky.
Flying out to Bardufoss recently as Captain in an RAF Merlin, we had a night stop at Bergen on the way. We had to go through the full security every time we went backwards and forwards to the Cab, bearing in mind a: it's my aircraft, and b: they let us through anyway with big bottles of water, leathermans, knives etc, even to the point where I had to completely empty my flying suit, and take my boots off! Totally nuts!
I'd take this post down if I were you, someone in Gloucester will read this and think you've something to hide. They'll be pulling on rubber gloves next time!
I would have insisted that he got the rubber glove out to finish the job.
In the mean time enjoy this classic clip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHZISoNlqAA
A few years ago at LJL whilst hanging around drinking over-priced coffee I saw a way of doing just that, and was concerned enough that when I came back I tracked down and contacted the agency in charge of Airport Security and told them about it. Initially they were sceptical, but when I filled them in on the details they ummed and ahhhed for a while before promising to look in to it. A few days later I got an official looking letter thanking me for my interest but informing me that my concerns were groundless as they were already aware of - and had addressed - the issue.
I rather think they had not addressed it, but that saying the vulnerability was no such thing is standard procedure whilst doing so ;)
Flying to Canada a few years ago I got pulled and a thorough search done of me, my bags and all my clothes. Some machine had got a hit of explosives from my coat as it went through the scanner.
It took ages to persuade a supervisor that as a defence driving instructor I spent all my working life hanging around guys who shot and blew things up for a living and that's where the trace would have come from. If I hadn't had my MOD ID in my wallet I doubt I'd even be out today.
I live in NZ and travel to Oz a bit. I always carry sweets to and from NZ, and declare them.After some patronising experiences I tend to go through Red on arrival in Australia now, and declare a packet of Duty Free purchased sweets as foodstuff. This usually gets a wry smile and a "No, they're okay sir" comment before being sent on through, avoiding the long queues of those being searched for biological warfare in Green
And I once had my slightly muddy boots cleaned for me on arrival in New Zealand to avoid contaminating their beautiful country. They were very nice about it though, so slightly off topic.
Rob.
I had the same experience flying from Heathrow to Riyadh. watched as my small suitcase (hand luggage) took the other roller into the something dodgy isle after going through the scanner.
Now, thing is i had some of my wifes clothes in there as she was due to fly out later that month so i took some stuff for her, why i never put it in the suitcase i don't know.
They proceeded to open the case swab stuff and rifle through it.... the security lass spotted some of my wifes stuff and looked at me in that "oh yes" kinda look, to which i stood rigid and gave her one of those Larry Grayson looks.... and never said a word!!!! priceless.
Security must have profiled you as high risk, race, age, nationality, religion, clothes, wrist watch etc etc.
It's only going to get worse in all UK airports. Up until recently it has been a fairly relaxed state of affairs travelling, but with heightened alerts and everything kicking off, it is highly likely that the UK will follow a more US/Aussie approach in future. The swabs can be an indicator that you have been touching something of concern to UK security, or perhaps narcotics, as such it makes sense that your glasses were swabbed.
It's just a matter of time...
tbh not that bad a price for airplane safety....
On travelling through many airports in many countries I usually have an 8 inch diameter matt grey plastic spehere in my carry on. It has a little hole drilled into it for pressure equalisation.
Usually it gets pulled by security.
Security: "What's this for sir?"
Me: "Its an 18% grey three dimensional diffuse incidental lighting probe"
Security :"And whats that then sir?"
Me : "I'm afraid I cannot descibe it in terms any simpler than those I gave you , lets just say its for photography"
Security: "Ok thanks for your assistance sir"
Me: "Not at all thank you"
The only time I've ever been pulled by customs on return was when I was accompanied by a rather stunning blond statuesqe 25 year old who was assisting me during a business trip. I'm sure the customs agent thought I was some sort of international pimp given the line of his questioning.
When was the last time anyone that looks like you hijacked or suicide-bombed a plane?
Israeli airport security has the right idea. They wouldn't have wasted your time nor that of everyone behind you, and they've got a lot more to worry about.
Some colleagues of mine told a similar story when they landed their police helicopter at Luton to refuel.
After hover taxying behind the follow me vehicle, the crew (police officers) were escorted to Arrivals whilst the Capt. (a civilian) stayed with the aircraft to refuel. After refuelling, he was escorted to join his colleagues in what was now Departures, and they were asked to produce passports...
Oh how they laughed!...
It was just a routine check, if they'd flag anything suspicious there would be a much more intrusive search
Last year I took a group of wounded soldiers to the US as part of a motorsport exchange programme for the charity that I run.
Going through security with the blokes was an eye opener. Between the four of them they had four legs, so the confusion through the metal detectors was somewhat amusing.
One security guy kept apologising as his handheld scanner kept going off every time he ran it over one of the blokes prosthetic legs.
When we were going through US immigration, one bloke who had lost fingers and thumbs, simply held his hands up when the immigration guy asked for fingers on the scanner and asked him how we wanted to procede. To be fair to the immigration guy he took it in his stride and even cracked a smile.
As a point of interest, how did they proceed..?
Damn, why did I not think of that? Now I realise it was my own stupid fault for being conviction-free, white, 62, English, CoE, smartly dressed and wearing a Rolex DJ!
I will know better next time!
The way you are treated in an airport s how your government wishes it could always treat you.
Frankly, the risks of terrorism are so low that I wish we'd just go back to the pre-9/11 level of security.
The cash and inconvenience that the security costs simply isn't worth the few lives it debatably saves.
What bugs me is the inconsistency; I don`t travel frequently and every time I do travel (a coiuple of times/year) I find that the procedure has changed! All that removing belts/shoes etc etc.....Patience isn't my strongest suit, and I do have a tendancy to say the wrong thing in these situations, which really doesn`t help.
One day I`ll strip down to my undercrackers and stroll through the checks......and the bloody detector thingy will still go off!
Paul
Unfortunately I think it's just something we all have to deal with, however, having flown 34 times already this year and mostly out of African airports I do feel that the extreme extent of UK/US/EU security is almost a little pointless in the grand scheme of things as in many parts of the world things are much more lax. On a recent trip out of West Africa the chap watching the monitor for the bag X-ray scanner also had his laptop out on the desk playing music videos... So I know where I would fly from if I was Johnny terrorist
Not to mention, if you wanted to down a plane, just roll on up the road at the end of the runway with an automatic weapon.
TBH I think the OP is moaning about nowt.
Most checks are fair ( and I get more than most)
Its the Smuggness of pathetic jumped up little T+@ts that gets me.
Couldn't become a soldier .... too soft
Couldn't become a copper ..... they know their father
Couldn't become a lolly pop man... frightened of kids
so become a man with a scanner
you can just see the smugness in them
I could just punch their lights out
Rant over
That said it could be worse.. I suppose :-)
My sympathies.
When I was flying out of Tampa (I think) several years ago,after going through the X-ray checks I was politely asked by a serious looking bloke in uniform and toting a gun to place my rucksack down and step "over here"
A couple of other serious looking chaps then proceeded to wave some probes and whatnot and tentatively prod my bag.
"whats the problem?"I asked....
Anyhow,I had bought several bottles of hot sauce whilst I was out there. I had carefully packed them in stacked rows with some padding in a couple of cool bags and then stuck these in my rucksack. Also in my rucksack were a couple of charging cables and an iPod.
Bet you can guess what they were checking for!
A hot dog ?
Hang that dipstick from the nearest high point so all airport staff are more careful with there customers goods, especially watches. Just an after thought, did you say anything ?.
I thought to post a facepalm pic but I found this
Posting Permissions
