Reply With QuoteThanks for that , nice read , have bookmarked :)
"A man of little significance"
Thanks for that , nice read , have bookmarked :)
+1 thanks.Originally Posted by back to the top
As a father of a boy with Asperger & as a teacher of young people (15 - 17 y/o) with digenosed with autism, this is a wonderful website. Thanks for the heads up.
M.
I just read this and thought I'd add it to this thread:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-23423541
"A man of little significance"
I have an Autistic son, he is bright buts hates noise and is hyper sensitive about all sorts of things that normal people don't even think about.
He starts comprehensive school in September after eventually becoming comfortable with his primary school and his classmates.
I took three years for him to settle in his old school, the thought of the new big school terrifies me.
I will circulate this through a charity I chair. Posts like this set TZ's membership apart from the rest. Fantastic heads up! Many thanks
A wonderful find. I too have a mildly autistic son and this blog makes painful, and painfully funny, reading. When you have a disabled child you take a different path to other parents.
Excellent view into a different world that autisim unfolds. I worked with autistic adults for twenty years and one thing was that no two people were the same, frustrating often dangerous but very rewarding.
I was doing it as a job, the dedication of parents who care 24/7 I have always had the highest regard for. People try and get autistic people to understand the world, but its always more productive to try and exist in their world and make adaptations. Making links is easy for us but for an autistic child there are always gaps.
I love that. I have no personal experience of autism but was captivated by and loved every post, but then I have turned into a right Jessie since becoming a dad.
Hi
My eldest son has 'traits' of Aspergers....he is exceedingly bright (which is not uncommon with Aspergers) and also prefers quiet peaceful surroundings and soft clothing !
He also had a very small social network - 2x friends....which when moving up to Secondary school 3x years ago was a stressful period for all of us. Of course , some bullying was always on the cards....as he is a bit different to everyone else....but I must add that the School & year head were absolutely fantastic in supporting him....and he learnt how best to avoid situations/periods which presented the most risk.
He has now won a Trophy every single year in English , Science & RE and is a fantastic Public speaker....he even takes the Class when his knowledge on the Topic out strips the Teacher's- of course some People will continue to try it on at School....but he knows how to deal with them....like the last day of term....when the other teenager hit first and then received a bloody nose in return....I doubt he will do it again.
These things do workout and your son will settle in....and will probably amaze you with some talent that you may not even know about yet !
Best - Neil
How do they know unless they try?My Son's Not Rainman
My girlfriend and I started living together about 3 weeks ago (we've been together for about 5 years but hadn't managed to be in the same city until recently...). My gf's 8 year old daughter has Aspergers and while I'd gotten to know The Girl over the years, living with her is quite an experience. She's a wonderful little girl -- brilliant, out going and very funny -- but the "quirks" are far more obvious now that we're living together. It is amazing how many times she'll change her clothes because something doesn't feel right or how obsessed she'll get with figuring out the various light switches and dimmers on the lights (why do some have dimmers and not others? Why are some lights brighter than others?).
It certainly has been a trying experience, but I'm working through it. Leeann, my gf, has pointed me to many sites like this to help me get some insight into the mind of an "Aspy".
I wonder if I won't end up writing one of these blogs.
Brilliantly written, some of it is genuinely laugh out loud, and yet so painful to read at the same time...
I think it something I will continue to follow and certainly remember when dealing with my kids when they wind me up - life suddenly seems easy compared to others...
I'm sitting here in the office with a lump in my throat after reading just a couple of posts from the blog.
A very touching site.
My youngest is 11 at the end of this year, he was born at 35 weeks and 1.6kg and suffered oxygen starvation in the womb. Two weeks in an incubator and he was pronounced fit to join the outside world. It was then, they told us that he had failed the hearing test.
It transpired that he heard nothing. He has two hearing conditions, Auditory Nueropathy and Audio Dissynchronicity. At the age of two and a half he started to hear certain things, bits of things, we were fairly sure. Thats when the behavioural issues started to poke their head out. ADD, ADHD, behaviour disorder, language disorder, emotional disorder and no global awareness.(that doesn't mean he is rubbish at geography) He is now an average achiever in an average primary school. We have just this year finally had it confirmed that he officially is, a high functioning Aspergers sufferer.
These are just lines written down briefly, they don't convey the effort, heartache, worry and anger suffered to get where we are today.
We tend to poke fun at our own situation, we see the humour in the horrible bits, it helps us get through it because just around the corner is an amazing moment that rewards you for all the strife.
Just Sayin'.
We tend to poke fun at our own situation, we see the humour in the horrible bits, it helps us get through it because just around the corner is an amazing moment that rewards you for all the strife.
That is exactly the way my wife and myself deal with the ups and downs with our son, he was diagnosed at 3 with Autism then at 5 with adhd, we knew he was different when he got to about 2 yrs old when he started to forget basic tasks that he had managed to learn....it was just like someone flicked a switch.
Everyday is filled with the uncertainty of how is he going to wake up, either grumpy or very grumpy, grumpy is ok to deal with....very grumpy is a different story.
But throughout all the hassle and grief he gives us(which isn't is fault) we are amazed at his honesty and the fact he does and says stuff that he doesn't give a second thought about, like the time he pointed at this huge women on holiday and told her straight to her face she was "really fat"
At nearly 12 he's beginning to take note of the female form and thinks nothing of giving me a heads up when a large breasted women walks past by shouting "boobies"
And then there are is silly questions which fill our day with laughter, he asked me recently who was my favourite hero, when I said Sherlocke Holmes he disagreed on the basis that he wasn't real, I then asked him who his favourite hero was and after a while he said "batman"....it kept us laughing for a few days!
He is who he is because of the autism, I don't really think I would want to change him.
Last edited by Franky Four Fingers; 28th July 2013 at 12:18.
Thanks for this link, I am going to put a link to it onto our schools website. We are a SEN school with age 11-19 pupils, we have a high population of ASC (ASD). The more we can teach people about the condition the less stigma there will be. Everyone is on the spectrum somewhere!!
Boobies, bottoms and pants. The appearance or mention of any of these are instant mood lifters and laughter makers in my house. Can't fault the lad on that! I remember him transfixed in front of the tv when about four years old at his first sight of Pussycat dolls (I think it was).
He also loves slapstick and his favourite show is "You've been framed". He gets to laugh at the misfortune of others without being chastised for it.
Talking of which, he asked me last week if I thought my new basketball style shorts were age appropriate, with me being 49 and all. I call that diplomacy and a marked improvement.
As far as cringeworthy, that would have to be the time at school when he asked Kyle's mum if she really was Kyle's mum because she looks like a man.
Where do you look when he says that?
Last edited by millie-mail; 28th July 2013 at 11:45. Reason: memory
Where do you look when he says that?
The ground, if you look at it long and hard enough it eventually swallow you up.
Our son also enjoys anything with other people's misfortune, as most children with autism they don't really get empathy.....pain and misfortune fits them like a glove.
One of my closest friends has an autistic son and through his trials, tribulations, joys and achievements I have learned a lot about autism. The positive, proactive, approach he has taken has been both humbling and inspiring. His son has a wonderful support system in place to help him meet his challenges and is a warm and happy child, a pleasure to be around.
I'll tell him about this site - I'm sure he will enjoy it. Thanks Simon.
As an aside, the Desert Island Disks with Uta Frith is worth a listen; she, for me, has summed up Autism better than many other scientists.
My girlfriend's daughter is 8 and has taken to walking around shirtless and screaming, "Nipples! Nipples! Beware the power of the nipples!" It is going to be interesting to watch her grow and learn to deal with her Asperger's.
I taught "special needs" for several years before being made "redundant"! My groups were then "integrated" into mainstream with "support" (often several pupils with one LSA). Most of the pupils had complex needs and statements which recommended "small group" teaching. "Integration" is fine for some but ................ I never had a dull moment and thoroughly enjoyed the very challenging but rewarding work.
Mike
Just came across this thread. My 2 year old son is currently being evaluated for, amongst other things, Autism (although it is very early to say at this stage). He has suffered with seizures since the eve of his first birthday and had development delay in some areas (language, no pointing etc) and yet in other areas is ridiculously proficient, such as being able to memorise the order of buttons to press in order to play certain song, and then pressing them in the blink of an eye.
He is lovely little boy - Autism spectrum encompasses a huge range
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Just came across this thread. My 2 year old son is currently being evaluated for, amongst other things, Autism (although it is very early to say at this stage). He has suffered with seizures since the eve of his first birthday and had development delay in some areas (language, no pointing etc) and yet in other areas is ridiculously proficient, such as being able to memorise the order of buttons to press in order to play certain song, and then pressing them in the blink of an eye.
He is lovely little boy - Autism spectrum encompasses a huge range
I almost shed a tear sitting hear in the office reading that as it could have been written about my 9 year old Brodie who was diagnosed as being having ASD 3/4 years ago.
To most people he appears like a naughty little boy who naturally fights with his older brother and complains about homework. To us we know there is always a volcanic explosion awaiting around the corner if things aren't to his liking or some kind of entirely inappropriate behaviour if he wants attention.
Yet with all the pain and social issues (i.e. that constant look from other parents in supermarkets &playgrounds) when he is behaving and life is normal he has so much love to give to us and his 35 large eyed cuddly toys on his bed.
But yes I'm not sure I'm looking forward to when girls appear on his radar.
a good link which shows the stigma associated with both a learning disability (this label does HFA/aspergers no favours at all ) and mental health problems - everything you do is scrutinised and open to the interpretation of another person.
I have just caught up with this thread as well. As a father of a 17 year old son who has Aspergers I had no come across this link/resource before. Many thanks to those who have posted other very good links and made positive comments.
Jon is doing fine at College on a Level 2 media course at the moment. If there was a course of film knowledge he would have a Phd by now!
I’ve just seen this thread for the first time. But I’m glad I have and the responses here are a refreshing change to some of the ignorant and sickening comments we’ve had on the forum over the years regarding those who are on the autistic spectrum.
My wife has worked with such children (up to 18 years old) for a number of years and it’s given me some understanding of the problems the clients and their families face every single day. I have great respect for all of you who have children with such disabilities.
We tend to poke fun at our own situation, we see the humour in the horrible bits, it helps us get through it because just around the corner is an amazing moment that rewards you for all the strife.
R
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
The best thing we did was get a statement, it was hard work and we had to pressure the authorities, we were fortunate that his headmaster was genuinely interested, this ensured that the schools provide the extra resources to cope and that the money is there to pay for it.
Surprising how many people on here have kids on the spectrum. I have a 16 year old Autistic son and the blog was superb reading and I can really relate some of it.
i forgot to add , for parents with children on the spectrum (and adults) the national autistic society is a great resource
http://www.autism.org.uk/
I think many people with autistic children have very similar stories to tell, they all seem to follow a certain path, do very similar things and like the same stuff. There seems to be something about Thomas the tank engine that the autistic mind likes, a doctor told me it was down to the colours and very similar stories based around the same theme.
I've said it many times before but other people are the worst thing about autism, a lot of people see a naughty child and wag the finger. Over the past 12 years we've had virtually every comment you could think of chucked at us, sometimes it gets to you most of the time you shrug it off, just depends what kind of mood youre in. Every now and again you'll get someone who sees a difference in your child and has the balls to talk to you about it. We were on holiday in Cornwall once and my son was wandering around a play park in his own little world, a woman came up to us and started chatting and asked if our son was autistic, she wasn't an expert just someone who noticed and understood. That one person makes you forget about all the arseholes!
I've often wondered how these parents would cope if they had to deal with autism, like a complete meltdown because they have to wear a new school coat or being punched kicked and bitten because you chose to walk a different way to school that morning, I'm sure their opinion would change somewhat if they had to.
FFF
I can really relate to this.
We are parents of a 14 year old girl who is autistic. Her younger brother Jack, 9 is also autistic. His twin brother Ollie is being assessed. Life can be very challenging with them, but also very rewarding. We have had it all thrown at us over the last few years. We used to just take it on the chin choosing to apologise for their naughty behaviour. This used to upset both of us as people just didn't understand their difficulties. Now when we find ourselves in a "situation", we just hand out one of these. Not quite the same as verbal support for our children, but the looks of guilt on the other parents faces says it all to us.
Now apologise to the child please, not us!
Shortly after writing posts 17 and 20 I suffered a nervous breakdown. I had to give up my job as the depression and anxiety made it impossible for me to leave the house for most days in the week. This cannot be solely attributed to my sons conditions but they are certainly a major factor.
My son is now at a specialist school with eight children in his class, with a teacher and two TA's. He doesn't get bullied any more and he has his first taste of genuine friendship, he is doing really well.
With the support of my partner of 22 years I am slowly recovering in my new role as house fiance.
I have posted this to show that we can't all manage autism all the time, there is a personal cost and it does affect the whole family.
Dave.
Good to hear of your son’s new situation and best wishes to you (and your understanding partner).
R
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
+1Good to hear of your son’s new situation and best wishes to you (and your understanding partner).
R
Me too, best wishes to all of you.
That's great news, it's good that you and your son are making progress.
With regards to your last bit about not managing it all the time.
I think parents with autistic children manage their problems very very well but it may not seem that way sometimes. Managing autism is about managing your expectations, you need to look for the positives in absolutely everything they do rather than dwelling on any small negative.
It was easier for me because I could go to work but my wife almost ended up becoming a prisoner in her own home,meventually she had enough and learnt to ignore the looks and whispers and I think that helped in dealing with the little problems that cropped up....more prepared in advance!!
All the best
FFF
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