Reply With QuoteThat's truly terrible, my condolences to you and his family. May he rest in peace.
You may have seen this story over the weekend. It has been all over the BBC and the papers.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#axzz2KbIlOFVu
Paul was one of my closest and dearest friends, we met while working together in our twenties and have known each other for seventeen years. He came to our wedding, we went to his. We were only speaking to him on Thursday evening to arrange all meeting up over the summer in the Peak District.
He was a truly lovely man, kind, generous, funny, warm and with a huge heart. He leaves his wife and nine year old son.
I have lost relatives before, and my mum (which was very tough indeed). I am really struggling with losing Paul right now though. I just can't seem to focus on anything and feel so, so desperately sad. It just seems so unfair. I really can't believe he is gone.
Any experiences shared most welcome.
So clever my foot fell off.
That's truly terrible, my condolences to you and his family. May he rest in peace.
Always sad to lose a friend, particularly at that age.
Best to concentrate on the good times.
My condolences - losing a close friend is truly gutwrenching.
I can offer no calming words that will make it any better. I can empathise having lost my 2 best friends in a car accident.
I was early 20's at the time, having grown up with them through school, the loss was insurmountable and it ended up putting me in a very bad way, my relationship broke down, I became quite reclusive for a while.
Try not to mourn the loss, more celebrate his life. Grief presents itself in various ways and no advice from me will help, just try not to let it consume you.
So sorry for your loss, Alex :(
Mark
sorry about your loss alex. some things just dont make sense.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
I lost a good friend to alcoholism a couple of years ago. His brother died from alcoholism and he'd already suffered liver failure but he kidded himself (and everyone else) that his drinking was under control until his liver failed again. His brother was 42 when he died and he was 38, I was sad to lose a friend but I felt great sympathy for his mother who had now buried two sons and had an alcoholic daughter. Strange thing is, the parents didn't really drink.
His Facebook page is still up and occasionally I see his picture staring at me from the screen as Facebook rotates my friends' gallery, that's weird.
Eddie
Whole chunks of my life come under the heading "it seemed like a good idea at the time".
Sorry for your loss, terrible circumstances. Hope you and the family find some peace.
Many condolences to you and his family your loss. I had a friend who died at an early age. He was the sort of friend with whom I just clicked - don't know why, you never do, but we just had a sort of chemistry. He always said he thought he would die in his early 40s. He had just met someone, got married and had his first child when he died. I hadn't seen him for a couple of years, as life and geography had made it more difficult to see each other, and I guess you always suppose there's loads of time to get back together. So hearing he had died was a great shock. I think of him often, and over the years I've thought of him with less guilt at not keeping in close contact and more affection so that I'm just left with good memories. I guess it takes time, and at least there are folk here that will lend an ear and look out for you, regardless of the bickering of late, there's a sort of home here so at least you can log on and have a bit of a holiday from your grief if that helps.
My sincere condolences Alex.
I was totally shocked when I read about this over the weekend, The G-Live facility is very close to
where I live.
My Wife, Daughter and I have been great fans since seeing The Boys perform in Port Issac 4/5 years ago.
We went to see them just before Christmas at The Anvil in Basingstoke, they were brilliant.
After the show we spent some time chatting with all the Lads and I believe you friend, a more down to earth bunch you couldn't wish to meet.
My thoughts and prayers are with you,your family and of course your friend's family.Also with Trevor who I believe is still in the IC unit at St George's Tooting.
With Deepest Sympathy
Brian.
My condolences. Hard to add anything meaningful but, my thoughts go out to his family in this tragic time.
All the very best,
Adi
Lost a friend to a car crash, and another to a hit n run whilst on holiday, both when in my teens; the only consolation is that you had many years and many memories and still have the wife and son to share the memories with (to the son your memories will be priceless). It does get better, and yes there will be moments that catch you off guard but in a weird way they can be good too.
I know it's hard but try and take comfort in friends and family you have, and remember you are allowed to be sad and if you need time to yourself tell them and take it.
Graham
Last edited by Chicken Pox; 11th February 2013 at 19:08.
That's so sad Alex, my condolences. I've lost 3 very close friends. One 'Pike' ten years ago to SDS, he was 39 ex Para no fear what so ever fit as a fiddle. He left a wife, son and step daughter. I was out with his widow and her new man on Saturday. When my wife was talking to her new man we snatched 5 minutes chatting about my old friend. Apparently her son has identified a new hobby, he wants to be a marksmanat 11 he already has his father obsession for fire arms (he has an air rifle). I hoped he was going to be a hair dresser she added, but he wants to join the army I wonder where he got that from?
These people live on through us and their children...here's to absent friends!
Last edited by wildheart; 11th February 2013 at 18:03.
My condolences to you and his family! Time certainly is not a heeler it just moves on and we move with it! A close friend of mine from University died in a car accident while on holiday in Iran leaving a 1 year old and his wife who was expecting their second child behind! Its hard but be strong for his family and there's a big community hear for you!
I have lost several friends over the past few years. The connections that we make between those close to us can never be replaced because they are unique, and the love that we feel for those we get close to is a true gift.
As has been said, remember the good times. Celebrate his life and the times you spent together. Nothing can bring him back, but he will never be truly gone, as long as you remember him.
My heartfelt condolences.
Last edited by MerlinShepherd; 11th February 2013 at 19:36.
Very sorry to hear this Alex - must be very hard to bare. He sounded a good friend to know. Please accept my condolences.
Rod
What a terrible shock Alex. Death at any time can be hard to deal with but sudden and unexpected tragedies such as this are surely the hardest of all to deal with. Sincere condolences to you and all his family and friends. It's clear he will be greatly missed.
I've lost several friends through tragic accidents and can sympathise with how raw this must all be right now. I found comfort through talking it through with shared friends and relatives who felt the same deep loss. A few quiet moments at work. A pint or two with a mourning friend. A visit to the family to pay respects. All of these helped. Eventually talk turns to shared happy, funny and never to be forgotten memories and in a strange way it's possible to feel closer to the one lost through learning more about them. You may have unique memories of your friend that would be welcomed by those who loved him. If you can, do attend the funeral. Mourn and talk. I really don't know what else to say.
Best wishes.
Gray
Very sad. A good friend from Uni days died from cancer just over two years ago, and another in a car crash about ten years back. Think of the good times. Nothing else I can recommend to help.
Tragic loss, I lost two very good friends in rapid succession, nothing anybody can say makes it any easier but good company does help to get you over the worst but its never easy, chin up and just think of the good times!
Thank you all for your kind words and sympathy - it has touched me greatly.
I've just got home and my wife showed me some pictures of him looking happy (he always did), and that really set me off.
I know time makes things easier, I've learned that the hard way, but it just seems so bloody wrong. He was one of the good guys, with everything to live for. Somehow many people who don't deserve to live long lives do (I can think of one or two very close family members who I would put into this category - people Paul was worth a million of) and others like my friend go far too early... I know we don't get to choose, but why TF do good people die like this ?
I've hardly mentioned this to anyone at work today, but somehow I feel better for posting about it here to you chaps. Weird huh?
So clever my foot fell off.
I am so very, very sorry to hear about it Alex... It is so absurd when something like this happens. No advice from me, all I know is that grief takes time. All my condolences to his family and to you.
Sorry for your troubles, hope you & his family get through this difficult time.
Very sorry to hear of your loss. It's a situation which I've experienced and I've got to say one of the toughest periods of my life.
My condolences. I know losing someone close is always a hard thing to get through, and it must be made even harder when it is so unexpected.
I hope that you find some solace and that it helps you get through this difficult period.
Sincere condolences to you and your friend's family and loved ones.
Best wishes
dunk
"Well they would say that ... wouldn't they!"
Most people we lose we get some sort of warning either age or illness but when it is sudden it is a totally different experience.
I lost a friend to a bike accident 15 years or so ago and it really knocked me for six despite the fact he was a relatively new friend and we were not that close.
Accept that you are probably in shock and help yourself get through it by immersing yourself in the practicalities of supporting his family in this difficult time.
You and his family will be in my thoughts.
I'm really sorry to hear this Alex.
Nothing can fill the void left by someone like that but I hope in time you'll be able to reflect on happier days.
Sincere condolences to you and your friend's family and loved ones, and especially his 9 year old son it must be very hard for him, sometime in the future these pictures you have would help to celebrate the life and friends he had on a personal level, these pictures in time could help build lasting memory's of his Dad.
Regards Mark
This is a weird place we hang out in isn't it? I described it to my wife as a bloke's Mumsnet once and have never lived it down since!Originally Posted by TheFlyingBanana
My story: Ric was a really, really good friend for a number of years. We were thick as thieves and became really close. For various women related reasons we kind of lost touch a bit. I went looking for him on the web one day to re-make contact as I'd never had a friendship as close as he and I had and I wanted to re-kindle some of that. And that was when I found out he'd died. He had come back from holiday feeling ill, been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and a few weeks later he was dead. He had a young boy of almost exactly the same age as mine and I'm not too proud to admit that I had to leave the office to go and have a cry in the car. I was in shock for two or three days afterwards.
It is really, really hard to deal with and I do sometimes get really angry with myself that I hadn't got back in touch before this happened and regret the good times we missed out on and it scares me to think that the same could happen to me and I could end up leaving my children behind. And all of the other irrational stuff that goes on in our heads. I try to focus on the happy times we had (Christ, we used to laugh!) but it is hard to deal with sometimes. All the stuff everyone else has said is true though - talking to other people who knew him helps, sharing the happy times, focusing on the good stuff. The more support you can give to his direct family, the more good you're doing for them and for yourself. My main regret with Ric is that I've never been able to get in touch with his girlfriend to offer my help (by the time I found out it felt like too much time had passed and that I'd be raking up sad memories for her). Make sure you're there for them and it will help you as well.
Take care,
Simon
I see the other guy has died today; the singer. This is a terrible incident. So many ways to depart, you just don't know the minute.
God that's awful - it sent shivers down my spine. RIP to both of them.
Usually relatives die when theyre older, but friends die before their time. A very dear friend of mine died in her early thirties and it still saddens me now, more than a decade later.
Hopefully, after a while, youll smile when you remember him. The sadness never really leaves you, for for the most part this can replace it.
Something badly wrong, a very new purpose built venue.
Extreme bad luck, wrong place wrong time.
When you lose somebody close to you in an unexpected way, it always makes
me reassess life and stop worrying about the small things.
Sorry to hear of your loss, Alex.
I lost my good friend 2 years ago. We met at nursery, went through school together (primary and secondary), did the same course at Uni, and then kept in touch once we started work and got married. He died painfully of leukemia, leaving a wife and daughter. He was only in his mid-30's, with all to live for. It made no sense to me, and still doesn't.
I lost my mother 20 years ago, when I was only in my late teens. She only told me of her cancer 2 days before she died (to save me the pain), but it left me no time to prepare. We were very close, my father having left us 10 years earlier. I was an only child (my identical twin dying when we were at primary school). I miss them both, and think of them both, every day.
In my experience, death often hits at random, with no sense or logic behind it. There is no point trying to reason it or wonder what if - just accept it, mourn for their passing, and let time heal the pain as best it can.
I pass the cemetery where my twin is buried every week on my drive home. I still miss him. But, my Christian faith helps, with my belief that they have gone to a better place and we will meet again.
I wish you peace and acceptance in the grieving process, and hope that you can continue to be a strong friend to the family your friend has left behind.
Andrew.
Sorry to hear this Alex. Take care mate.
Dave
I lost a close friend through tragic circumstances a few months ago. It does get easier with time, but you'll still think about him everyday. I wish you and his family all the best.
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