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Thread: My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

  1. #51
    When something similar happened to me on boxing day five years ago I felt the lowest I have ever felt. Best solution is the company of family and friends, booze doesn't help, but a couple of drinks did take the edge off and allow me to relax if I am honest.

    At the time I felt really cheated as I had been fighting to keep the relationship going against the clear feeling of moving apart. When we had previously struggled due to things in her life I had always supported her and even went through six months or so when I could easily have left because I knew she needed me and remembered how good things had been in the past. I had a bad year that year with death in the family and the recession nearly killing my business, felt like the second I needed support she couldn't really be bothered.

    One month later I started seeing my current partner. It took about six months for me to be ready for it to be a full on relationship, but I am happier now than I ever was. Sometimes you fight too much for a relationship. Looking back I feel I wasted a large part of my life on someone I should have realised I was not meant to be with. My advice would be that if it feels like hard work then it isn't the right one for you and you will honestly realise it was for the best in the long run.

  2. #52
    Grand Master
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    I would have a Gok Wan style makeover and be out there like a Greek Sunbed Attendant getting very busy
    RIAC

  3. #53
    Master trisdg's Avatar
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    Re: My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by sibeer View Post
    Looking back I feel I wasted a large part of my life on someone I should have realised I was not meant to be with. My advice would be that if it feels like hard work then it isn't the right one for you and you will honestly realise it was for the best in the long run.
    I think this is probably true, no matter how hard it is to admit it.

    The physical attraction was/is so strong that I may have been blind to some of her more selfish tendancies. I guess I always assumed that as the relationship progressed things would naturally get better, but may have been a bit naive in that respect.

    Don't get me wrong a lot of the time things were great, but at some point she would always go through a bout of depression that could last from a few months to over a year. And no matter what I did to try and help she would never let me in.

    I would have done anything and everything for her, but looking back I suppose it was never truly reciprocated.

    Need to try and work out where I'm going to live and start trying to move on.

    Thanks for all the kind messages.

  4. #54
    Master gunner's Avatar
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    Has she just turned 30?

    I only ask as I've seen a few previously reasonable, rational women (non-sequitur?) turn mental around this age.

    Happened to me a few years ago and I my world was turned upside down.

    Much happier now than I ever was though...

  5. #55
    Administrator swanbourne's Avatar
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    This has probably happened to every one of us on the forum. Everyone deals with it differently and everyone comes through it in time. There is no magic formula I'm afraid but crawling inside a bottle isn't the long-term solution.

    Eddie
    Whole chunks of my life come under the heading "it seemed like a good idea at the time".

  6. #56
    Master CamCG's Avatar
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    If I have one piece of advice for someone in your position it’s to give her space.

    She may come to realise that she was right to want to split with you, she may also realise that you are the person she should be with (a “break in a relationship” isn’t always shorthand for one party wanting to get with other people; sometimes people do genuinely want space to get their head straight).

    Either way, the worst thing you can do right now is to hound her in the flat or barrage her with soppy, long-winded or angry texts / emails etc. once you’ve moved out.

    At the same time, you don’t want to cut yourself off from her completely. I’d suggest that, after you’ve moved out, a pleasant call or text message, no more than once every other week, would be a good start. You may want to communicate much more than that, but don’t.

    Another thing you shouldn’t do is to be on your own or go after the bottle. By all means find space for yourself, but don’t isolate yourself from others. If you’ve got a few level-headed mates or close family with whom you can have a good time without having to get sloshed, that’s ideal. Getting a new hobby or spending more time doing one you enjoy is another way or take your mind of things.

    I’d also leave aside any ideas of going out on the pull or joining dating sites for now – you’d only be doing it to grab at any kind of comfort to replace the affections of your fiancée, but any positive emotions won’t last into the next morning, you may end-up hurting someone else and you might also put the stops on any chance of a reconciliation with your fiancée. It’ll take around six months before you’re ready for a proper relationship again.

    I hope things work out for you.

  7. #57
    Master trisdg's Avatar
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    Re: My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by gunner View Post
    Has she just turned 30?

    I only ask as I've seen a few previously reasonable, rational women (non-sequitur?) turn mental around this age.

    Happened to me a few years ago and I my world was turned upside down.

    Much happier now than I ever was though...
    She turned 30 in May.

    I thought it was 40 when you have a mid-life crisis, but maybe you're onto something.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by gunner View Post
    Has she just turned 30?

    I only ask as I've seen a few previously reasonable, rational women (non-sequitur?) turn mental around this age.

    Happened to me a few years ago and I my world was turned upside down.

    Much happier now than I ever was though...

    Personally, I've always worked on the assumption that this 'turning mental' age range for women was somewhere between 1 and 100!



    Joking apart though, take some time out with friends to take your mind off things and good luck for whatever happens in the future.

    If it's any consolation, I'm just going through a split after a 3 year relationship!

    Steve

  9. #59
    Master gunner's Avatar
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    My wife went completely off the rails and our relationship never recovered.

    Since 'upgraded' and now have a beautiful young family.

    Doesn't feel like it now, I know, but you will be fine.



    Quote Originally Posted by trisdg View Post
    She turned 30 in May.

    I thought it was 40 when you have a mid-life crisis, but maybe you're onto something.

  10. #60
    Grand Master sundial's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trisdg View Post
    I'm just in complete shock, and trying to hold back the tears with a bottle of whisky and a 4 pack of beers seems like my only friend righr now.

    ........

    Tomorrow morning I've got to play the last post and I'm not sure I'll be able to get through it. This is too much.
    Hope you managed the Last Post ... If you are a horn player , blow your horn rather than hit the bottle ... playing music , making up your own mood music , can be very therapeutic

    ... and have some long walks in the fresh air.

    Best wishes

    dunk
    "Well they would say that ... wouldn't they!"

  11. #61
    Master Thorien's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear the news, however life has a funny / weird way of working out OK in the end. Try and get your mates around and go out / take your mind of things....
    GL matey and chin up. Although it's very hard now to imagine but one day you will be in a much happier position and look back at this and realise it was for the best.

  12. #62
    Master trisdg's Avatar
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    Re: My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

    Cheers.

    Remembrance Sunday actually went really well, although I'm not sure how. It doesn't help trying to hold back the tears when playing such reflective and beautiful music.

  13. #63
    best of luck mate, i hope you get yourself sorted. i know its tough,

    andy

  14. #64
    Master Optimum's Avatar
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    I have no words of wisdom to offer but only my best wishes. Stay strong.

  15. #65
    Master
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    I hope everything starts to look up for you soon. It seems you have struck a chord with many of us with this thread. I offer my support too, as a brother.

  16. #66
    Master Lammylee's Avatar
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    I had been living with a girlfriend for 7 years and she left. I took a year off relationships and caught up with old mates, travelled, learnt to ride a motorbike and bought a rolex submariner that i hadn't been allowed under the previous regime! a great year! Keep your chin up!

  17. #67
    Administrator swanbourne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lammylee View Post
    I had been living with a girlfriend for 7 years and she left. I took a year off relationships and caught up with old mates, travelled, learnt to ride a motorbike and bought a rolex submariner that i hadn't been allowed under the previous regime! a great year! Keep your chin up!
    Sounds like a plan to me, a year of "men behaving badly" should do the trick.

    Eddie
    Whole chunks of my life come under the heading "it seemed like a good idea at the time".

  18. #68
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    Can't really add to what's already been said, but I do feel for you. Best wishes.

  19. #69
    Master davida's Avatar
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    This threads been a real eye opener. I know the general opinion is that blokes can't communicate and open up but this proves otherwise. Really great to see the support complete strangers are willing to offer someone in need.

    As for my input, really can't add much to what everyone else has said. Just believe it when everyone says that things WILL get better. Time is a great healer and in my opinion, getting away from your ex and having time to yourself is the most healthy way of dealing with all this.

    All the best.

    Dave.

  20. #70

    My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

    There is some good advice here, take what you need and ignore the rest!

    As hard as it sounds (and it is hard) let her go. Hanging on, pleading or begging won't make her stay and in fact pushes her further away and hurts you more.

    Personally, and it is easy for me to say it, sit down with her and talk to each other. Let her know how sad and unhappy this situation makes you feel but that you understand why she needs time out and let her go. Then focus on all the practicalities to keep busy.

    It is gonna hurt for a long time. It always does when you are not ready to move on but in time it will get better. Who knows she may come back or you may find someone better but don't rush into anything!

    Whatever you do don't let yourself spiral down into drink and bitterness, that way leads to the Dark side!

    Chin up matey
    Paul

  21. #71
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    Re: My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

    Cheers for that.

    I think as we're going to be stuck in the flat together for another few weeks (as it now looks like we need to get tenants to take over our contract) I'm going to be nice and not deliberately cause more negativity.

    Not sure if this is just going to delay the sadness till we're properly apart, but all the negativity is too draining and I feel like a damn zombie.

    Not drinking heavily now. It's tempting, but a few beers actually feels plenty.

  22. #72
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    I have a feeling from reading your posts that you are at some point going to try and salvage this relationship.


    Fortunately i have never been in your place but i know a bloke who was once in a situation just like yours. Hot GF of seven years suddenly wanting space but BF hopelessly besotted with her.

    We all told him to get shot of her and he did, she went away and banged someone else and then came back to him for the security that she once had. She started randomly coming around to his house in the mornings and walking into his bedroom, stripping off and humping him silly. He took her back against everyone's advice.

    Several months later he came home and found her in his bed riding the local copper. What did he do ? He let her stay and when i asked him wtf was he doing he told me "I'm getting on now and i am near 40 and i won't ever get anyone as good as her again so don't want to let her go". He was told he was an idiot and that was that.

    2 months later she was caught riding a guy ten years younger than her in his car. At this point she didn't give a crap and she realised that her bf was such a beta male that he would not do anything about it so she started taking the young guy to the house and banging him and making the bf go out.

    Eventually he kicked her out but only once everyone knew that the reason he was sitting in the bar all alone every second night was because his gf was banging this young dude in his bed.

    Anyway fast forward 18mths and he is now happy living with a whale of a beast and their little sprog. His new gf may not be as hot as the last one but he is happy enough.

    Don't be that guy.
    Last edited by studly; 13th November 2012 at 03:38.

  23. #73
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    Wow, studly. That's an extreme case but it is a salutary lesson, I think.

    I always think that this sort of experience hurts for two reasons - firstly because of the loss of someone you love, and secondly because of the way it makes you feel about yourself. You probably can't do anything about the first but if you lose your dignity and self-respect you'll make it a lot worse.

    It can be really hard to let go. You hear people saying that time will heal, and you know it's true, but the trouble is you don't really want that. You just want your old life back. The turning point is when you realise that it's made you stronger, and opened up another world of opportunities.
    Last edited by monogroover; 13th November 2012 at 10:56. Reason: typo

  24. #74
    Grand Master learningtofly's Avatar
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    I can actually relate in a very real sense to both of the posts above. My ex-wife had a fairly sordid affair, and in my desperation to keep the family together I "forgave" her and tried to carry on. Suffice it to say that it didn't go very well, and whilst the situation was never as bad as that which Studly described there were echoes of it in what I had to deal with.

    I learnt a tough lesson, which was - in circumstances such as these - it NEVER pays to show any sign of weakness to the other party. It simply isn't respected and ultimately it serves no end.

    As we've all said, things will get better, and you WILL be stronger for the experience.

  25. #75
    Thomas Reid
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    Going through your partner's email is certainly a sign that all is not well in the relationship.

    In any case, I once got dumped after 10 years in the relationship. She said that she thought we had got together when we were too young, and she wanted to explore alternatives. I wasn't so keen on the alternatives and it broke my heart. It mended. Eventually. Like all old wounds, it still gives me a pang occasionally.

    Best wishes,
    Bob

  26. #76
    Master trisdg's Avatar
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    Re: My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

    Bob,
    I honestly didn't go through her emails. We only have one computer and she never signs out of anything. Quite often I don't, as I have nothing to hide and assumed she thought the same.
    But I'd literally just woken the computer up and it was there staring me in the face. I didn't know if I could or should bring the subject up when she got back home, but as it was not done at all maliciously or out of jealousy I knew I had to mention it. I wasn't even sure that it wasn't spam.
    As it turns out she had set up a profile and I don't disbelieve what she said about it. Again, maybe that's me being naive, but I think what's the point in lying about it when the relationship is being finished.

  27. #77
    Master steptoe's Avatar
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    The strongest person in any relationship is the one who cares least........ When you meet up with friends keep the mourning to a minimum, they'll understand.
    But be careful.... if you carry in a pit of despair everytime you meet up with them you'll turn toxic.


    Do you have a dog ? If so now is the time to write a "Country and western" song.
    Last edited by steptoe; 13th November 2012 at 12:26.

  28. #78
    Master steptoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trisdg View Post
    Bob,
    I honestly didn't go through her emails. We only have one computer and she never signs out of anything. Quite often I don't, as I have nothing to hide and assumed she thought the same.
    But I'd literally just woken the computer up and it was there staring me in the face. I didn't know if I could or should bring the subject up when she got back home, but as it was not done at all maliciously or out of jealousy I knew I had to mention it. I wasn't even sure that it wasn't spam.
    As it turns out she had set up a profile and I don't disbelieve what she said about it. Again, maybe that's me being naive, but I think what's the point in lying about it when the relationship is being finished.
    She left it that way on purpose so you'd find out.

  29. #79
    OP - is this completely out of the blue or could you, with hindsight at least, see this coming?

    I'm not married but I have been in a couple of long term relationships in between shorter flings, in both of those cases it was her that ended things and in both cases it was because she'd met someone else, both girls are now married to those same guys. The break-ups hurt like an absolute bitch, I couldn't sleep properly for weeks and I ended up stewing in my own disbelief, pain and, if I'm being honest, what felt like a complete loss of pride. This all manifested itself as anger on a few of the occasions that I had to sort out the practical stuff with them and things were said that I feel so embarrassed about thinking back, I must have come across as a total and utter knob, I just ended up making things 100 times worse being as bitter as I was. Whatever you do, do NOT be that knob.

    It took me some time after these relationships ended to realise that things between us had being going downhill for a while, the writing was on the wall but I was too naive to notice. I learnt a lot about myself, about how I *really* feel in relationships and to recognise when things aren't as they should be and, as cliched as it may sound, I'm an emotionally stronger person through my experiences. You'll be the same, I can pretty much promise you that.

    Do you have friends or family that can help you out with a sofa to sleep on? Try to get out of the flat if you can.

  30. #80
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    Hi Mate, really sorry to hear this but as a lot of others have commented it has happened to us all and is a tough time. Stay strong focus on you, friends and family in this time really help. Space is good and if you guys are meant to be you will be if not, you will find someone who deserves your love. Same thing happened to be a few years ago and now I am happily married with the woman I love and we have a wonderful little boy!
    Chin up, good times will come!

  31. #81
    Master trisdg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steptoe View Post
    She left it that way on purpose so you'd find out.
    I don't think you're wrong.

  32. #82
    Master trisdg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CardShark View Post
    OP - is this completely out of the blue or could you, with hindsight at least, see this coming?

    It took me some time after these relationships ended to realise that things between us had being going downhill for a while, the writing was on the wall but I was too naive to notice.
    This may also apply to me.

    She had mentioned a couple of times over the past 6 months that she wanted to move out of the flat and back into her mum's so she could sort her finances out, as the rent etc. was too much since she only worked part-time. She had asked if I would consider moving in with her at her mum's, but I said that wasn't really an option as her mum only lives in a small one bed council flat and it would be too small.

    I'd stated that if she was to do that and I rented a room somewhere then our relationship would probably be over as we both have very busy lives with teaching and gigging and quite often only see each other at night; and if that time was over then we wouldn't see each other at all, so what would be the point. I wasn't trying to end the relationship at all, and I definitely didn't want that to happen. I said I would do anything to make sure we got over this hurdle, whether that meant moving into a cheap flat somewhere or making sure she always had money, whatever it would take for the relationship to not only survive, but get stronger.

    The money issue had always been there and had caused me to have a certain amount of resentment. Even when we first got together and she was earning more than double what I earned, I always ended up paying for everything. Except for the rent and bills I paid for all the household stuff as well as all the food in the flat. This carried on over the years, and I began to resent it, and didn't bring it up for quite a long time. When I did finally bring it up we chatted about it, came to agreements about things and moved on and got over it.

    She then got signed off work with stress and started applying for full-time positions. She had a couple of interviews and I thought this would be the catalyst she needed to get her finances back on track and a new job that hopefully wouldn't cause stress. And in turn this would help turn her to put some positive energy into the relationship, which is kind of what happened.

    The last month had been going really well. We went out for meals regularly, were talking about lots of different things and (seemed to) be enjoying each others company. I had no idea that she was thinking about leaving me.

    As it happens now she's going to move back in with her mum next month, she resigned from her job yesterday but they said they'd pay her for November and December, AND her mum has just sold a vase which was given to her by her brother which made over £61k in auction, which we worked out would be £53k after commission.

    So she is probably going to be completely sorted and I'm trying to look at any flat shares around that I can afford, which isn't actually looking that great.

    You may detect a certain amount of bitterness in this post, which is partly how I feel at the moment along with many other emotions. But I actually feel more in control of these emotions more than I have for the last couple of days.

  33. #83
    Craftsman
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    Oh mate, I do feel for you, been there, had that done to me....funny thing, she was 30 at the time too.

    Anyway, some great advice been suggested to you by others more eloquent than me, but my 5c worth....

    • This forum is perfect for getting your initial emotions out of you,
    • The answer does not lie at the bottom of a bottle, maybe once, but please don't make a habit of it. Don't ask how I know...
    • Eat if you can, I used to have a can of baked beanz on toast every night when i came in from work, bought a job lot of cans of beans! Until one night I ended up with butter beans on toast as I'd run out of the baked kind! Funny now, not so at the time.
    • Get out and see friends as much as you can. Family, IMHO, tend to ask questions you don't want to answer, but of course, depends on your family. I found friends much better to talk to, bit like us here!!
    • It will pass mate, it's only in a month or two's time you'll look back and say, well, I'm a bit better, and then after six months you'll do the same, and I suspect, after a year you'll do the same. Takes a while bud, but it will get easier.
    • Don't go out with girls yet. You won't be ideal company and it's not a good plan at this stage for several reasons.
    • Keep your chin up, we'll listen to you!

  34. #84
    Grand Master
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    im sorry to hear that youre going through such utter shite.
    can only echo what has already been said.. separate with minimum fuss.. see friends and socialise.. and dont go back.. no matter how much the heart strings tug.

  35. #85
    Master
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    Loads of great advice here - everything you need, in fact. The problem I think is that you'll do what you want and feel that you need to do regardless of the advice; most of us do when we're hurting. I just hope the immediate future is such that it allows you the time to work out whats right for you in the long term.

    Keep your chin up, seek solace in friends and family and remember always that they are a different species.

    All the very best.

  36. #86
    Master studly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trisdg View Post
    Bob,
    I honestly didn't go through her emails.

    We believe you op.



    Look op it is simple. This life is short and she feels that there is something missing in her life, something that you cannot provide. She thinks the perfect man is out there waiting for her , hung like a a shire horse who will make sweet love to her every night but that man is not you..... Time to move on and learn from this.

    Be careful op as a Monkey does not usually let go of one branch until it has a hold of another.

    Move on before she makes a mockery out of you.
    Last edited by studly; 14th November 2012 at 02:14.

  37. #87
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    ^^ yes be carefull, a monkey does not usually let go of one shire horses c*** until it has hold of another

  38. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karl View Post
    ^^ yes be carefull, a monkey does not usually let go of one shire horses c*** until it has hold of another
    Some monkeys will grab as many as they can and not let go at all .

  39. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimmerjammer View Post
    Some monkeys will grab as many as they can and not let go at all .
    A monkey is for Xmas not for life.. Get yourself down the local clubs & pick up a few marmosets

  40. #90
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    Sorry for your news. Plenty of good advice already. Do share you feelings on here its good to get it out as the bottle - not looking after yourself and distress can lead to a downward spiral. Time is a great healer juts keep focused on positive stuff anger and grief can be destroying.

    Many of have been through similar situations. Mine was just under 25 years- one day a family man next on my own.

    I have met someone great and special.

    Time is the healer- you will meet someone else - having learned from this experience - and although 7 years seems along time its not really.

    sending you good Karma

  41. #91
    Master trisdg's Avatar
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    Re: My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

    Cheers.

    Yesterday wasn't a good day. And had a gig at night and played like shit.

    Today, I spent a while on spareroom.com seeing what's out there at the moment.

    Not sure where I'm going to end up. Would like Richmond, but that's out of budget. Also, would prefer to move in with someone I know, but that doesn't look likely at all.

    If anyone knows any good sites for renting in a flat/house share I'd really appreciate any recommendations.

    Regards,
    Tris

  42. #92
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    I'm a bit late to this thread but you've already had lots of good advice. Can't help with the flats stuff as I'm the other end of the country but you're doing the right thing focussing on practicalities.

    Not many blokes like to admit this to themselves but the thing they find hardest to deal with is the thought of the girl shagging someone else. That's one of the reasons you've had a few responses effectively driving that message home. The point is to put it - and her - out of your mind. I did the classic 'let's just become friends and occasionally meet up for a shag' routine with a particular girl years ago and it was a disaster. Couldn't get a proper relationship started because I kept wondering if this one was going to come back together somehow magically. When I did ditch her from my life I met my wife, my best friend and my soul mate (and yes, it's all the same person!). Once you've got yourself sorted cut her out of your life completely. Don't look her up on the web, don't check out her Facebook status, don't turn into a stalker basically! Move on with your life and you'll be much, much happier. I know it's going to be messy and a bit depressing getting yourself back on track but if you're out there you'll find someone infinitely better and you now probably (even though you might not realise it yet) have a better sense for when the relationship starts to go off track and what to do about it.

    And, hey, if you're out there gigging you're bound to get some groupie action aren't you?!

  43. #93
    Master patrick's Avatar
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    Reading the thread just reinforces for me how in Western Society we have been brainwashed into believing that having a partner we are romantically involved with is a prerequisite to a happy life.

    http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/NWL1.html

  44. #94
    Grand Master markrlondon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patrick View Post
    Reading the thread just reinforces for me how in Western Society we have been brainwashed into believing that having a partner we are romantically involved with is a prerequisite to a happy life.
    Who is this "we" to which you refer? I have never presumed that a partner is a prerequisite to a happy life and I wasn't aware it was a common belief.

    For what it's worth, it appears to me to be a far more common expectation amongst women than amongst men and this seems to me to be likely to be nothing to do with social "brainwashing" per se and more to do with genetic programming.

    By all means, partnership in life can lead to a happy life, but there are also other (not neceassarily mutually exclusive) routes to happiness, and partnership can also lead to great unhappiness.

  45. #95
    I really wouldn't be bothered about keeping on her good side, or even keeping contact, it just isn't worth the time and effort - at the end of the day you need to month on. If she comes back saying it was all a big mistake (very rare and outside chance) deal with it then but do not expect it.

    Two ways to look at this -

    she isn't the right one for you (that much sounds quite obvious to me as an outsider).

    your not the right one for her (she seems to think so).

    Either way you are better of without her.

    Sounds like she has done you a favour and all those times you thought about parting in the past but did nothing about it has happened without too much effort - psychologically the fact she made some steps before you (although you actually kicked it off by confronting the situation - and possibly by saying things were over if she moved back with her mum) are what hits the most - if you have ended it you'd feel better about.

    All in all, apart from sorting out your accommodation etc. I think you have had a bloody lucky break and you should appreciate that to be the case - You are the lucky one in this scenario - she has to live with herself and her traits for the rest of her life, thank F you don't have to ;)
    It's just a matter of time...

  46. #96
    Grand Master markrlondon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Omegamanic View Post
    If she comes back saying it was all a big mistake (very rare and outside chance) deal with it then but do not expect it.
    If this does happen then do not, under any circumstances, let her back into your life! Whatever she says or however you feel, nothing should persuade you to let her back in.

    I made that mistake once and will never do so again.

    Oh, by all means have sex with her. Enjoy it! But don't fall for her again.

  47. #97
    Quote Originally Posted by markrlondon View Post
    If this does happen then do not, under any circumstances, let her back into your life! Whatever she says or however you feel, nothing should persuade you to let her back in.

    I made that mistake once and will never do so again.

    Oh, by all means have sex with her. Enjoy it! But don't fall for her again.
    That sounds fair enough :)

    No point going back to any previous relationship for 99.999% of us - and there are some lovely Russian wannabe brides out there lol ;)
    It's just a matter of time...

  48. #98
    Master patrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by markrlondon View Post
    Who is this "we" to which you refer? I have never presumed that a partner is a prerequisite to a happy life and I wasn't aware it was a common belief.

    For what it's worth, it appears to me to be a far more common expectation amongst women than amongst men and this seems to me to be likely to be nothing to do with social "brainwashing" per se and more to do with genetic programming.

    By all means, partnership in life can lead to a happy life, but there are also other (not neceassarily mutually exclusive) routes to happiness, and partnership can also lead to great unhappiness.
    The Royal we......just a generalisation, finding popular songs without love in the lyrics somewhere is fun to try.

  49. #99
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    Re: My fiancee has just told me she's leaving me

    I'm not keeping her on my good side, but being nice is less stressful.
    Ha, there have been a few potential groupies, but I've never cheated on her in my life.

    Think it will all hit home properly once we're completely apart.

    Right now, not wanting to sound selfish, all I want is a shag (and NOT from her)

  50. #100
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    Humping someone else is ok, but if the bastard try's on one of my watches

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