Why the need to grow sideburns - nasty - and assuming you joined up at 17 and left after 23 years you are 40!! In which case DON'T DO IT - as it will add at least another 10 years.
If you must then do the Evis, however you will need a white cloak and flares and die sitting on the bog.
Get a grip man :D civvy street will not thank you
Andy