I hate myself for replying to you.
Some of you people here should be ashamed of yourselves.
It is not charitable shouting about the donations you have made when you do it for status and power,not becuase you are a good person.
You follow the trouble making anti semitic around like his lap dogs,enjoying the pack hunting mentality.
I expect most of you are soft,you must be when you are scared of a S/H pair of shoes and hide behind keyboards.
I will tell you what I did yesterday as an example.
Having forced myself out of the house, I drove as close as I could to where I know homeless people beg quite close to a coffee shop.
I can only walk very short distances,very,very slowly with a trekking pole my head swims and I cant breathe,feels like a weight on my chest.
Though I am safe to drive as its no exertion with an automatic car,hard to get upstairs though.
I have collapsed many times and had total strangers help me,I am an old English soldier I dont like to give up.
My aim was to get to a coffee shop for a change of scenery and see if I could help some homeless as I often do.
I couldnt carry much so I put some socks and gloves in my shoulder bag.
The last time on the way back I had bought mince pies for one of them but he had gone.
Hence why I offered my watch strap in return for you doing the same,because I was having trouble doing it myself.
But there wasnt enough reflected glory for you or actually helping someone face to face was no good as know one would know you did it.
Much better to pay in the fund raiser and let us all know,or sell something that was free you dont even have to post.
I saw the same homeless guy again from a distance but he was packing up and I couldnt get to him as he walked away.
There was also big issue seller but she said everything was to big for her.
I had a very nice coffee and made it home without help,I then fell asleep in my chair, waking up it was pitch black outside and I was cold.
Today I stayed in my front room all day,just sitting I was breathing hard and felt dizzy.
It took me ages to write the SC add but it made me feel I had at least done something productive even if it was from a chair.
Ive had 3 ambulance calls,a hellish stay in A and E overnight, 4 days in a Cardiology ward,numerous tests and appointment's.
Now Thursday before Christmas they will operate (if they have a bed free) and I am scared stiff,I am not religous but I am praying every night I will
wake up in the morning.
Ive been scared before when snipers where shooting at me,when a HVO soldier pulled a pistol on me to kill me (he looked me in the eyes and held it down by his side,I still have nightmares),when mortars where landing around my truck etc.etc.
No back up, just an unarmed volunteer civillian at the time,no medals,no press.
I would rather face that 10 times over than this now.
Happily I dont need the money from SC,I paid my mortgage which means my War disabilty pension and regular Army pension is enough to live on without turning of my heating.
The only thing I hope is that you can feel my contempt for you.
Now thats a ramble,happy now?
